New Phase with my Lil Angel

Hi! I haven't been posting anything much since the wedding. Reason being that I've been busy with life. Long story short, not long after my wedding I got my transfer back to Selangor. Since then transferred to a new hospital, work in a whole new department and got myself pregnant.

Alhamdullilah, Allah swt is indeed the greatest planner. I am now a proud mother of a cute little baby girl who was born on the 17th July 2014 at 12.49pm. Being a new mother and all was tough. You keep on questioning yourself if you are doing the right thg. Is it okay if I use this thg on my baby. What does everybody think. But slowly I learn (and believe me I am still learning). Since some of my friends are going thru the same phase. I think what s a better way to share my experience but thru blogging. So here it goes...

I hope some of my experience can be beneficial to some of you, as I am also still learning and I am not perfect. I am just hoping to save some of my memories so that my child(ren) will be able to read it in the future.

Will blog again soon about a whole new chapter of life. :) 

I'm Married!

Do you believe in destiny? Orang kata, jika kita sayangkan sesuatu let it go, and if it come back to you that means its yours, if it doesnt that thing is not yours to begin with.

Who would have thought? Maybe some people would say, everybody predicted it Fie, not much of a shock. Truthfully to me, it is still a shock... And yes, I think only after a month that fact started to dawn on me. Hazim is my husband.

From that moment when I asked him repeatedly "Are we just friends?" until he finally confess, till the day he said "Aku terima nikahnya" when everybody else is so used to the idea of us being together. I still cant believe he is mine. That he actually said I love you, Will you marry me?. Often, because of this I guess I pushed him away, cz the idea sometimes felt alien to me. Silly me. But that is just how I feel. 

Sometimes I wonder how things in life happened. Especially when my mind kept on getting a glimpse of that June in 2010 and then I'm married. Felt surreal truthfully, still is. 

So to Hazim, I don't know if you understand how I feel. But for us to get to this point now I think you know how difficult it is. It had taught  me a lot of patience, perseverance and most of all FAITH in Allah swt. Our union, this time it was all in His wills. And I am utterly grateful that you are mine, that a perfect person like you would choose me the most imperfect person. I'm lucky to have you. You are the most caring, thoughtful, loving, understanding, selfless person I know. I LOVE YOU. 

Photography by : Project2pi

My very first Nasi Lemak

Assalammualaikum,

So last Sunday i made nasi lemak. Just wanted to tried it out. Yelaa iollss pun nk test skills iolls jgk. Homagaddd, the nasi lemak ended up jadi nasi lembik, like pulut ok. I dont know what I have done wrong, either terletak lebih air ke. Lebih santan ke iolls pun tak tahu la, iolss kan amatur. So, iolls salahkn beras tu la. Hazim pun layan saje la alasan iolls tu. Aww such a sweet guy he is. So at last, i end up cooking a another batch of nasi lemak. N that one for some reason ended up half-cooked. So i press the cook button again n again till i feel like the rice is fully cook. I was actually very ready if Hazim decided to eat out cz i dont wan us to get diarrhea just by eating my "amatur nasi lemak". Tp he was just so sweet about it, despite my tantrums. He cooked the sausages for me. He even ate the nasi lemak sampai habis n praise me good job for my effort. Ya Allah, seriously what have i done to deserve such sweetness is beyond me. At the end of the day I'm just grateful and very full.

Alhamdullilah

the ingredients that given by my PPK Kak Som upon hearing my plan to cook nasi lemak

The end result :

Our Story Chapter 1 : Nice to meet you

Alhamdullilah...I'm now engaged to my college best friend. It was a joyful event. I've been wanting to write for sometime now, I have been telling Hazim about how much I wanted to blog. I just haven't got the time, I am so caught up with work and wedding preparation. So maybe, I'll be doing a few short posts...InsyaAllah

Love at First Sight

If the title above is what you are looking for, our story is not the one you should be reading. This is a real life story, this isn't a fairy tale, this is definitely not a chocolate coated candy...this is a story about life, fate and destiny. It all started on one fine Tuesday evening, while waiting for the book sales booth to open (I was talking to my friend Jana) came along a fine young man who then said "Are you Syafiqah?" looking straight at Janarisa Mustar May. Upon hearing that, I was ready to make my most subtle exit when Jana answer "No, she is!" pointing straight at me. Darn Jana!...why can't you just lie? Whatever this guy want from me, I don't want anything to do with it. Then he turn to me and said " I'm your mentor, my name is Khairul Hazim. If you have any problem with your studies, you can come and find me"

How was that? can I start a love novel now? *chuckles* If Zatil read this she would say, if you want to write your story Fie, you better be publishing it as a telenovela. Truth is..I first met Hazim personally on 12th July 2005, that was the day he mistaken me for Jana. We've known each other for almost 8 years. Some may have thought we've been together since then. No we don't. He has been nothing more than a really good friend, we have seen each other through bad and good times, tears and laughter...all these things that we went thru are priceless. Through all that, we learn about each other, try to understand each other better, be a better person.

When we first met, I've not imagine that he would be an important person to me. But our friendship make us an important person in each others life. That is how we come together. 

The night of Fireworks

People say, 

Love will never find you if you look for it. But if you stop searching and try to be a better person instead, the right person will find his way to you. 

That is what happen to us. Somewhere in February 2011,we were both tired and sleepy that night, back from a friend's birthday party. I was post Medical call (in HTAR) saying that, you can imagine how sleepy I was. When we reached the car, we noticed his headlights were on! To his horror, his car engine can't start. I was too tired and too sleepy to process any of this...something bout the headlights causing the battery to run out. I made a decision that I just want to sleep. Qistin was already snoozing on the back seat of his car. I'm next, I told myself. But he was persistent to keep me awake. He showed me a few games on his iPhone asking me to play with it. Then, there's the sound of fireworks and also a bunch of "tanglung" in the sky. It was the night of Chap Goh Meh. The view was just beautiful, both of us was just standing by the car awed by the beautiful lights. Then he turn to me and say "You know, everything happened for a reason. Sometimes, things happen so that we can take a pause in our lives and see how wonderful things are around us. Things that we took advantage everyday".  To my amazement he turn to me and say "I sayang you Fie, I sayang you sangat2".  

Me : Me too hazim, you are one of my very best friend.

*me being me, I just had to spoil the moment*

-________-

(that was the first time he ever said it)

A simple Reminder

If you want good things to happen to you, expect good things, think about good things and speak regarding good things insya Allah, our Lord will make it easy for you.

I don't know where I got this from, but I believe it is true. Though sometime us human being human it will be hard. We want to do good, to be nice, it is only our natural that we want to be a good person. But at times of obstacles, when Allah wanted to test our imaan...come all these absurd things that will make us angry and say rude things without we realized  these obstacles are ways for us to get kifarah. Allah swt want to cleanse us, make us better, stronger. MasyaAllah. How our god love us.

A few weeks ago I come by this thing, they call it the Four Agreements

Be impeccable with your word 

• speak with integrity

• say only what you mean

• avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others

•  use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love

Dont take anything personally 

• nothing others do is because of you 

• what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. 

• when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.

Don't make assumptions 

• find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. 

• communicate with others as CLEARLY as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. 

• with just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always do your best 

• your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. 

• under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

These Four Agreements that we must make to ourselves, if not, it is easier for us to let others affect our lives. I've yet to accomplish this. But we can't stop trying...InsyaAllah to be a better human.

Pintaku

Ya Allah, janganlah engkau palingkan aku dari cintaMu. Buatlah aku jatuh cinta berkali-kali terhadapMu Ya Allah. Jauhkan aku dari hasutan dan godaan syaitan dan iblis. Ya Allah pandulah aku ke jalan yg engkau rahmati dan bukanlah jalan yg sesat. Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku insan lemah, kuatkan iman ku untuk terus ke jalan mu. Aminn