Cinta 359 km

People say distance can really put the relationship to a test...it is true. We dun get that much time to spend on each other lately...phn call and msges are our only way of communicating with each other. And when you are used to seeing each other every single day, this is quite a big change and a challenge....but I find... every single time that he is back from Penang, I can't help having this happy tingling feeling. So, those moments become more precious...tho I would really love to have him here or be there with him. It will be so much easier n better but you know what they say...when relationship is put into a test it can either make it or break it. I do hope I and Doink will make it. I do hope Allah swt will give us strength to go thru this, I hope He will give us patience...one day insyaAllah...everythg will be much2 easier than we will treasure it even more because we've live through these tough times <3

These are cute :)

its true

I do hope these little thgs able to make u happy

Now, Forever and Always <3

<3 Khairul Hazim <3

Big BAd Wolf!!!

BIG BAD WOLF

sound hot enuf???

hahah

you got it right

it is

DEFINITELY

HOT!!!!!!!

imagine all your favourite books in hard cover edition at only RM 8 -15. HOT right???

Thanks to my dear bestfriend Far, i managed to get hold of 7 hardcover books at an extremely HOT AND AWESOME PRICE!!!

~COOLIO~

PiNky October

Ok so i havent been writting as much as promise my self to be...found my self a little easily distracted lately...then i become totally HYPER....

What's been up?

Latest news of all is.... Alhamdullilah...I don't have cancer. those of you who does not know...I've been having this breast lump for quite a while now...approximately 5 years if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, I know I must be crazy to not have it checked up after 5 years...have I lost my mind??? Mind you, I did go for chk up...when I was a student I was seeing Dr. Mumu my Surgical Lecturer....then she said it was nothing to worry about because the history and the nature most likely to suggest fibroadenosis or fibroadenoma which means some benign lesions over the breast which commonly found in the childbearing age women due to the hormones and etc. So I find myself not worried about this lump until recently due to the death of my Tuk Ayah (maternal grandpa) and my Mak Long (maternal aunt) due to cancer. 

My Tuk Ayah was found to have colon cancer just a few weeks before he passed away. He had a cardiac arrest after his operation. While my Mak Long...she had a recurrent breast cancer she had done bilateral mastectomy completed Tamoxifen regime and chemotherapy. So, cut my story short....after few push from these lovely ppl whom I am very lucky to have....I went for the Triple assessment. They did a scan and found that my lump has cancerous feature, its BIRADS 4a...so the radiologist did a Tru-cut biopsy for me and took 3 good samples of tissues. For the whole week of not being able to move my respective arm or use it to carry heavy objects and breast pain due to the small cut...i was also worried about the histopathology result (microscope examination of the tissues). Alhamdullilah...berkat doa my parents and my loved ones...it was not cancer it was just a benign lesion....so mmg Alhamdullilah....Alhamdullilah...Alhamdullilah sgt2.....I might still want to remove it..but maybe not now la as it is very small...I'll definitely do my monthly BSE (breast self examination) don't worry. All you ladies out there should remember to do BSE too okay. Breast Cancer is among the most common cancer among women in Malaysia. Plus October is a breast cancer awareness month. So do remind urself, ur sisters, mother and girlfriends to be aware of this. Do monthly BSE as it has proven to detect breast cancer in its early stage.

p/s doink, thank you for being with me, thank you for caring, thank you for the love that you gv thru this hard times....thank you for your prayer. ILY

WEAR PINK FOR ALL WARRIORS!!

<3

A little piece of me

Hey there its been so long since i REALLY write anything....well blame that on my laptop since it kept shutting down by itself....a LOT has happen lately...when I say a LOT it really is a LOT. Truthfully, I am still trying to cope and figure out how i really feel about things.

09/10/11 ~ 2.55am
I lost my tuk ayah.....now, I dun have grandfather anymore. Tho people said its okay, he have live a full life, he is nearing 90...he have managed to see his grandkids and his great grandkids. I should be redha that it is time for him to go. Dun get me wrong, I do accept this destiny.....I accept that he is gone now. But, I am really sad that I was unable to go to his funeral. That part just make me feel trully sad...guilty in a way. But I also know that there's nothing much that I can do anyway. Whatever it is, I'm glad that I managed to see him before he return to our Almighty Creator...I'm glad that I've said everything that needs to be said, I'm glad that I managed to say my goodbye. So truthfully, I can't see why it was so hard for me to let this go...I just find it hard here, living these days here alone. No body to mourn with, I don't have closure. All I can do is cry, recite Yaa-sin, cry again. I feel a mess, I don't really care about food....I just ate whatever i can find as I know that I am gonna be vomiting everythg out anyway.....I've totally lost my appetite...Milo is my best diet so far...the only thg that I'm able to tolerate.

I called my sis yesterday, she seems all cheery already...I'm happy for her. I do. But I'm also jealous, she dun have to be alone....from the day I saw my grandfather in the hospital, something inside me have weakened and it has not gain it strength still. I'm sad, but I can't show it....all I can do is cry, I duno how to expressed it. All these thgs that I feel that I think about I just don't know how to make ppl understand....I feel guilty that I was unable to be there for my tuk mak, I feel guilty I was unable to say my last goodbye, I feel guilty that I can't even go to his kenduri tahlil....how can he say he love me the most when I am the most unworthy of his love? I feel like I'm being very unfair to him, to his soul....I'm sorry tuk ayah, I am such a failure....how can I make ppl understand all this. I noe by now, Hazim is probably a lil frustated with me already....all I do is cry, mope, feeling sad...maybe he himself duno what to do with me. I don't thk I need ppl to say anythg, I just need to feel that I'm not alone. Thanks Zatil, for just letting me cry thru the phone....funny how simplest thing like that help.

I think that is all for now, I'm starting to drown in thoughts and emotion...my writing is starting to not making sense anyway..will write again soon...just realized how much life I have let slipped away...