5th Ramadhan. 19 days to goodbye

I'm finally accepting the fact that I'm moving away soon. Soon means in 19 days time. Yeah, its a week before Raya...and I'm sure many of my friends will be wondering why I have to leave so soon and stuff. Im sure my family feel the same way too.Well ugys, if I have things go my way....I wana go after Raya too. I wanna stay here longer, but I can't ....my department are not letting me take leave from the 13 till 26 due to lack of medical officers and the majority of medical officers in our department are Muslims. Yeah, total bummer. And JKN Penang said that they can't promise to give me leave as my record book is not in their hands yet. I don't know if I'll be able to celebrate Raya with my family or not this year, that is the saddest part. I don't know whats the best decision to make right now, either to stay and  may or may not get Raya leave or go and may or may not get Raya leave. There's a part of me who said "Just stay, even if I have to work on Raya I'll be in shift systems". Oh! I don't know.

Nothing make sense right now, Hazim says I've to grow up. I just feel like it is a lot to take in at one time, being away from family for the first time, moving to a new place, with no place to stay, new working environment, may or may not get Raya leave. I just feel it is too much. I know I'm very lucky I have Hazim there with me. But I just can't help feeling sad, I've make a living here...I have my own space, my friends, I've created a bubble that's comfortable..now I'm moving out of it. No more getting ice creams right before dining at Manhattan Fish with Nafasha and Diana. No more having Nasibah and Farhana around for advice. No more meeting Zatil on my free time/ day off and listen her talk bout make up and stuff. No more one hour drive back to my family. Everythg is new. I don't know when I'm gonna meet all this people again. But they have helped me a lot. I've become independent with their help. And it feels like I don't want to move on. I don't wanna leave my comfortable bubble. I'm missing it.  

Time seem so limited right now, there's many things that I wana do with just so little time. Yeah, actually I know what happened, I've been in denial all this time and that is why it is just difficult to take in right now. It felt like after this I'll be much further from my family. like this is one little step to stop being mum and dad little girl. I'll be writting again soon when I'm calmer insyaAllah.

Happy Ramadhan Al-Kareem!!!!