Amazed at people who can be true to their feeling and are able to continue their life without being such a hypocrite. 'Hypocrite' yes a word that I really really hate. It means a person who pretend. I don't like pretending, i despise it A LOT! But, one thing I don't understand is that why do I keep on pretending??? I seriously hate this kinda feeling!
Why must I say to people that I think a person is nice when I know that to me that person is a fake, not sincere and anything about that person make me think of garbage disposal area....yes smelly, full of maggots, and that person has never done anything nice to me accept for making me look bad. I don't even know why I must pretend to even try slightly to show some form of 'like' to that person when all I wanted to say is that 'You've ruined my life BITCH! I think you are like a parasite. Now, stay away from my LIFE!!!'. I don't know why for instance I have to pretend not knowing when I perfectly know what has been going on. I don't know why must I pretend that everything is the same, pretend that everything is okay when I know that everything is not.
Maybe I am in the fatal state of denial. Maybe doing anything at all is tiring me. Maybe I am comfortable in this passive position. Secluded in a shell that no body can figure me out. Maybe I am more mature in dealing with life problem, that I know which one I want to prioritize, which one I wanna share with my close friends, and which one that I should just keep it to my self to ponder. Maybe sometimes no words are needed. Maybe sometimes all you need to do is just walk pass it like it don't even caught your sight.
Maybe one day, it will all make sense. Maybe one day it won't matter. Maybe one day it will all be forgotten. At least, I am not lying to myself. I know how I really feel. After all, that is what really matter, right?
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND GUYS!!!!!
