i noe what i am about to say are goin to sound sooo childish...but i seriously feel sad thinking that zatil is goin to quit, i really hope she won't....cause i need her here....if she is so faraway, i duno wen am i goin to see her
i won't be able to just visit her in the ward or hv a quick bite with her...i noe...i noe....i sounded sooo la lesbo rite now. but zatil is my bestest best fren....she is like the only one that is always there at my critical times. at least for the past 3 years nie.....she the only person whom i noe understand me the best, who really accept me the way that i am, whom i noe i can count upon no matter what...we can even bitch about the same ppl. if jen have mimi, i have zatil....i feel like i am losing her. ntahla...i just feel so sad....i noe it is not the end of the friendship even if she quit. i noe she will always still be my bestfriend. i just dun like la this whole idea, i am worried that if she choose to quit...she will regret it in the future...i dun like that she is goin to be faraway from me...i am seriously gonna miss her...
today, seeing anis and eja get married, seeing them with their hubby....i get this weird feeling. it is not a sad feeling or a jealousy...it is sumwhat, peaceful, happy and hopeful feeling....for the first time after a very long time. i felt like it would be nice to have that someone who promise to be with you no matter what, who promise to be with you forever, who you can come home too. seeing them.....i'm moved and touched by their happiness. i guess it would be nice to have somebody to love and spend my whole life with. though i thk i've lost interest on guys for quite awhile...i guess, my heart was badly injured...that person dun even realized just how much he have hurt me. with zatil issues goin on....i guess i've come to realized that it would be nice to have someone to hold on to no matter what. like an insurance for life, ur soul guardian who will take care of u and ur heart forever...where can i ever find that guy....
