Truthfully...here is my insecure area over here.....
I know....I've been very...how I say, seems like hating my job lately. I just seriously hate working.....not all the time. Sometimes I do find working is exciting....sometimes, I do feel happy to be working, I do enjoy doing procedures and stuff....I do enjoy treating patients, helping them to feel better. Sometimes...I'm not gonna lie, or say smthg to make everyone think I am some kind of angelic person, cause I am not perfect like the prophet, I am just me....an imperfect human, full of flaws and weakness....and all that I can do is give my best. But sometimes, I just forgot to be sincere......I am seriously sinful for all this. Ever since I started working till now...seriously my motivation is running low...not because I don't have a dream anymore....I do, but somehow or rather I just find that this kinda life is not worth it. I am not born in this kinda life, I always have parents who are always there spending time with me, I've been thinking of what is going to happen to my children (if I ever have one). I hardly even have time to myself. All I ever think of is sleep. Am I going to be a bad mother? I seriously dunno.....
I guess...I just can't expect life to be perfect too...All I can do is just do my best, remind myself to be as sincere as I can in doing my work, try my best in doing everythg that i can in this life...hopefully..Allah swt will bless me and be with me every step of the way. Hopefully I will always have patience ...hopefully, Aminn
