Year 2012 : START NOW

Salam....

So, New Year update....To tell you the truth I can't remember what I did on New Year Eve's or New Year last year.. But on the last night of 2011, I was working on my night shift in Peadiatric Ward 6C. As the clock nearing 12am I was actually trying to catch a nap...but my mind is deep in memories of all the things that I have done in 2011 that I don't even remember when actually that I fall asleep....As I woke up, there was already fireworks in the background...Yes, true enough 2012 is here, clock shows 0005 H...I did not managed to watch the fireworks this year..it had died off the moment I reached the window...Anyway, that is not what concerned me...What was running thru my mind was "What kind of a person that I've become in 2011? Have I become better or have I actually managed to become worst". That question I think lies between me and Allah swt.

Pondering at 2011, definitely I have gone thru a lot....but, my support system are always there for me. Feel truly blessed. I found love this year. Being in a relationship and start being in a long distance not long after that. Definitely have thought me to be more patient, understanding and learnt to live alone without anyone to count on 24/7. I learn to make friends and accept the people that i used to not like. I learnt to forget the past and try my best to make the best of present. I've lost my grandfather. Being stepped by the people I trust. Truly, one thing I definitely has achieved this year is the will to let go and have faith in whatever Allah swt has planned for me. Alhamdullillah, I am still here. I am still blessed with health, happiness and love. I have everythg that I ever wanted. My life, as imperfect as it is.... is truly perfect. Alhamdullilah....hopefully, Allah swt will still gv me his blessings, and give me courage to overcome whatever that might happen in the future. I definitely have to try harder to be a better Muslim in the future.

Looking back at my 2011 Resolutions :

1. I want to be a better servant to Allah swt
2. To be a better daughter, sister, friend, doctor and person
3. To find myself that special someone....if Allah wills it... I think the time is right already ;)
4. To be able to fly thru all of my posting smoothly
5. To take better care of my health and savings

Truthfully, I can't say I've achieve most of the things 100%, because certain things have to be a continuous process...like I would carry forward No.1, No.2 and No.4 in 2012. As I already found that special someone..Alhamdullilah....I would now hope that our jodoh di percepatkan. Benda baik tak baik ditangguh2 kan?... lagi pun if we continue like this akan bertambah dosa je. Hmmm *Muhasabah diri*. I also hope that I will be less shopaholic this year cz now I will start paying for my car. Yerp, finally getting myself a car after oh-so-long.....huhu ^^

I also have to really take care of my health, eat healthily and exercise more. I also definitely have to cut down on luxury and save moreee moolahh. TEEHEE!!

WELCOME 2012

Expecting nothing less from this year, hope it will be a much greater year than a year before. Whatever experience it have install for me, hopefully will make me a better person to Allah swt and the people around me.

Happy 2012 people!!!

~take care~

Déjavu

Sometimes I really wish I could erase memories, hurt, and pain. Sometimes I just really wish I can stop my self from being scared. But, I guess my body have the mind of its own... It remember this feeling... Dang it!! Get over it, its different now...

A Little Appreciation

On your birthday who should be the one who we celebrated most?? Its your mother...she is the one who endure all the pain and fight for her life to bring you into the world and if she didn't do a good job at it....you wont be here as perfect as you are....on your birthday, say thanks to your mum. As everybody is wishing and celebrating you, everyone forgot about who brought you here safe (other than the doctor/nurse and the power of Allah s.w.t)

Thank you Ummi, for risking your life and saving me. I love you sooo sooo much!!!!!

this is the birthday cake that I got from my mum for my 23rd birthday. At that time I was having a very difficult time...My bestfriends failed me, my exams is nearing...stressful times and she was there for me always.... sometimes maybe she don't really understand but she will try her best to be there and cheer me up....never failed. My mum, my saviour, always <3

p/s Sorry Ummi, though finally realizing this....I did not celebrate my birthday with you again this year....I am really2 sorry.....For everything, I just wana say thank you....

Moment of Truth

I FREAKING HATE PEADIATRIC POSTING!!!!!!

Unhealthy

Fie... hows life?? Life is freaking pathetic lately....Seriously patthetic. Life is okay. Doink is busy playing  PS3 game 24/7, and I feel so annoyed with that game..tho I am the one who bought him the game in the first place. Whateverlah...I have promised myself to be very understanding bout his game mania, and saying all this doesn't mean that I don't understand. I do, but I seriously thk its a little too much lahh.... seriously too much. Basicly erasing my mood to talk to him about anything. Seriously hating myself for saying all this, I know I look like this not understanding bitch who have problem with her boyfriend playing video games. I know how this looks kay, and I seriously hate this kinda girl. I don't expect him to stop playing game and talk to me pun, but even so...even when he's not playing game I've to make way for him to start playing game...I actually talk "talk" things to other people more than to him kot...haihh sedihla...i just missed him...

And I am seriously hating my computer right now ( D please don't you dare shutting down on me, I wouldn't hesitate in throwing you into the river) I seriously in need of a new laptop. But I just can't afford a laptop now... arghhh!!! not nice feeling to have. Why must the pencuri curi my laptop and all of my memories. Seriously, I hope one day he will know how it feels to be me... I seriously need my laptop more than anythg now. I really need it that I feel so pissed off, so given up on it that it kept on shutting down on me. Gosh, yla I am having hatred towards machines nie...this is too unhealthy. -.-

Btw, I think I might be having this LOVE-HATE kinda relationship with Peads. I think this department is so freaking complicated. The log book, the schedule totally not organized, they are treating us like children, the leave is so freakingly hard to apply, and we are not short of people, we are among the department who have large number of people. But they kept on not letting the first posting to do loads of thing. Man! When are they goin to learn???? I duno la, as much as I think it is freaking complicated...I kinda enjoy working here, I love those kids. No matter how much they made your life miserable, not wanting to take ORS, not wanting to drink or eat, difficult line settings, blood taking, all the struggling and long hours in treatment room with them shouting on top of their lungs in your ear... the end of the day, they will give you this cutest smile, and that is somehow enough to send you back smiling.

FYI.... Jen, Mimi and Mira just climb up Mount Kinabalu which I think is so damn Awesome!!! I seriously feel very envious towards this...I should be a part of that you know. I should, but maybe the time isn't right. But that's the thing...if you don't make time, you'll never find it for anythg at all...I feel so totally proud and happy for my friends. Wish one day I can climb up that mountain too..InsyaAllah....

Anyway, I think that is all for now...

My life really need an emergency makeover.....

Gawd, I feel old...

Just the other day I was talking to this boy, his name was Joshua...he was playing with his toy cars. Seriously, I hardly ever see kids these days play with TOYs. Do they even know what that is anymore??....or their source of fun has totally change to iPad, Tablet, PS3, XboX....Although we are moving with times, I personally think it is rather refreshing and nice to see kids who still play with their imagination, who still read story books, who play outside...Yeah, I'm old fashioned, I know...