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This week, another one of my friend will get engaged. All around me people are making plans for the future, choosing a hospital to be posted together as a house officer, getting engaged, get married, have babies....looking at them, i can't help to feel sad. I am happy for them of cz, because they know where they are heading, what they want for the future and at least they have a bit of a picture about how they want their future to be like. Okay, at this point probably you will think that I am sad because I still don't have anybody to call my own and that I feel lonely. Well, I can't blame you for thinking that way as anyone in my shoe would probably think that. But, sadly.... in my case it is not that. If it is, then I guess life would be too simple...and SIMPLE LIFE has never go parallel with me.
The reason why I feel sad was because all these people are reminding me about that word that I wanted to say to you before I go to sleep. That word that I hold myself from typing every time I send you a message. That word that I wish I could tell you out loud every second of every single day of my life. That word that I feel every time I looked at you, every time I think about you and ridiculously even when I am MAD at you. That word that even though unspoken, feel more real to me with every single breath that I take. That word that I just can't keep it to myself any longer because it is hurting my heart till I can feel it swell and aching every time I think of you. That is why I am sad...not because of fear of being alone but because living this life without telling you this word, I feel like I am throwing away my time without meaning.
That word is the only word that I want you to say to me...If I am ever so lucky...well, a girl can only dream...
