Hey Heart...

Oh well...it has been awhile since I talk to you....or feel like I wana talk to you.... for the past few weeks all I want is to get away from you, leave you....Even now, I am not really sure about still wanting you back in my life. Everytime I think of you...all I remember was all the times u made my cry, all those time that I felt alone while you are off somewhere being selfish, all those time you hurt me, took me for granted, being the insensitive person that you are, all those time wen you made me feel like I am worthless. Its sad....to just leave as a fingerprints in your life, it is sad not to be anything that means so much more. That 49 minutes conversation must have been the longest conversation that we ever had in months...but even then, I feel like you are a stranger in my life....funny how I know so many things about you when you know so little about me. You don't even say sorry or try to resolved our issues. You act as if it is an invisible wall that won't affect us at all, little did u know that....that wall is getting thicker and thicker....

Though yesterday there's been a couple of times it struck my mind that I wanted to talk to you....try to just forgive you...forget everything and just be us. I also know that it will not solve anythg....10 months from now the same problem will surface...and it is goin to get uglier and uglier each time. So, I don't dial your number...it does not mean that I don't miss you, care about you less or that I don't love you...it's just means that i know you so well that I can just tell....you don't need me badly enough...for me to come back...I am sorry hunn...I wish I could have it any other way, but you don't give me any reason to...you can't even hold the umbrella up high for both of us when it rains....

The saddest part was...i thought about how to make us work even if let say that monster is living in your veins...yes, i LOVED you that much...