tHe EnD is NeAr...

At last, we are almost at the end of 2009. What 2009 mean to me? It is a year that my baby sister has stop being my weekend roommate. A year that I managed to get a room of my own (well, still kongsi, but Murni is not always around >_<) A year that I decided that I wanna be short haired. A year that I managed to become green eyed for a month. A year that I started this blog. A year that people started calling me final year medical student (yea, sudah 5 tahun...burden burden). A year that I fully conducted a delivery and repair the vaginal tear all by my self *good memories*. A year that I become down shit BROKE!!! T_T. A year where I had most date proposals and love confessions, yet...haha. A year that I managed to have Japanese friends (Sugoiii!!) A year that has thought me true meaning of friendship and love. A year that has force me to accept that LOVE can make you blind and stupid (yeah, that actually can happen -__-"). Valuable lesson in deed. A year of realization. Year of epiphany. A year where I uncover the true colours of the people around me. A year where my logic has return (thank GOD!). A year that I can confidently say that I've gain 3 level up on maturity and inner strength each. As a conclusion, it is a bitter BITTER YEAR...full of experiences that has thought me a lot about life and my self in a way that I've never seen before. And for that...I am thankful to Allah to have LOVE and given me so much. 

Hopefully 2010 will be free from this bitter BITTERness and will be filled with happy HAPPYness.

One last advise, DON'T EVER LOSE YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHAT!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

certain things, even without words, can be interpreted, no worries, my questions are answered. 

wOndeRinG nOw...

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Note to XYs

Dear all those XYs out there,

May God bless your soul for your presence in this world. I am truly glad that you guys are here living on this earth with us XXs. But I, for once wana say...stand back, hold your horses and just turn the other way and don't dare to look my way. You guys just have no idea who or what uguys are dealing with. My heart is fragile, it has been slash in  so many different ways for the past 11 years of my life and it has been tortured chronically for the past 4 years and 5 months. So yeah, stand back if you don't want it to break into million pieces. My heart needs healing. Unless you sincerely want to handle my heart with care, heal and protect it with all of your viable manly power. I suggest you to stop, don't even think about trying to play with it. For this is to be taken seriously cause I need my heart to continue living...

Quoted By

Browsing through weheartit.com and found this

LOVE IS NOT about COMPARING who is better in a BATTLE of winning your HEART. If COMPARING is involved, then I guess.... it is not LOVE after all...

pOsitiVity

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Thanks Mirae, I really needed that. Really missed talking to you. LOVE

HaiR intErvENtiOn 2

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14 years of long hair now gone. I'm gonna miss you long hair. See each other again soon. (^^)v 

Dear Flute

Sweet Cookie

23 is a nEw BeGinNinG

Yes, I've managed to reached 23 years of my life at 11.03am  on December, 17 2009. Truth is, i always imagine my 23 self to be settled, well sorta like elegant woman, have my future figured out, calm, focus, stable, wise and mature....but sadly i am none of the above. I am cranky, i got mood swings, my stress level can go high and low within minutes, I am still struggling to figure out life, to be loved, planning my future and everything just seem like a dark road full of haze. The only thing that keep me moving is that, the blessings that I have from the people who really care about me. They are like a lantern that I have, they kept me warm when it gets cold and shine my dark path. The path that I am currently walking on, I don't know where will it leads me, what awaits along this path. Till today, I've fallen into so many holes and step onto so many thorns. But always, I'll find that bright light, or a newly bloom flowers and they made me smile and laugh again. So, I guess life isn't so bad right. A person once told me that "you've got to go through the bad stuff  to appreciate the good stuff". Well, maybe those things I imagine are a bit out of reached at this age...cause at 23, adult life are just starting, I still have time to figure everything out, and everything will turn out just fine, one day...InsyaAllah.

Since this new number came together with our Islamic Year celebration, it is only proper to say that I wanna be a better muslim and a better person this year....I've said this thing every year, but nothing seem to really change. Well, I guess, change are always up to us. We are the one that have to power up and change ourself. More action and less talk right. I gotta set  my mind and focus. Seeing how hard my seniors work in their housemanship, I know that this is really serious business. We are dealing with people lives. They are our responsibility and shame on us for signing up for this but did not prepare ourself. Well, I don't know why I am blogging about this cz this pep-talk are actually just meant for myself. Maybe cause typing it down seems less crazy than talking to my self. Anyway, I wana take this chance to wish you guys 

SALAM MAAL HIJRAH 1431

MAY ALLAH BLESS US ALWAYS

Million thanks to the people who wishes me on my birthday. Thanks to Sakinah and Hanis for blogging about it, you girls are the sweetest. Thanks to my housemates for throwing me a surprise party, and giving my hair an icing cream SPA, love you guys sangat >_<. Far and Akmal for throwing me an advance birthday party. Zatil, for such unique present, seriously I still tak kluar kan present tu from  kotak lagi cz sayang nak guna. Everyone for the lovely presents. And last but not least thanks to my best friend Hazim for making me have a great birthday despite your busy days.

HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD! =)

a Day beFoRe 23

~Life update~

Hahah cam poyo jer buat life update kat blog sendiri, gaya cam ada beribu-ribu pembaca setia je...hohohoh. Eheh...takde lah, I soooo... know that my blog hanya ada pembaca yg boleh di bilang dengan tangan je as I dun tell  about it to everyone. So anyhoot, life update...I am currently in Surgery Posting. Hmm...I don't la hate this posting, I think I am okay with it but I still don't like the smell of the surgical ward. It seriously make me feel nauseous. (Ceh, perangai cam tuan puteri je cakap macam nie) But seriously, ever since I've been to this same ward the first time I step into it as a clinical year student while I was in Year 3, my perception of it hasn't change. I thought that I would have get used to it by now...like somehow the smell won't bother me so much. Apparently it still does. So anyway, this is my second last posting as a medical student. Geez, takut kan kan kan....in like approximately 15 weeks I'm gonna sit for my PRO EXAM. To tell you the truth, I think I am on the verge of getting panic attack every time I think about my FINAL PRO 3 EXAMINATION in APRIL. 

Seriously, it is time to focus now and be really really scared. Okay, not lah scared until impaired function to study pulak. Tapi  kene focus lah, in which I dun understand why is it so hard for me to accomplish. If only reading medical books is as interesting as reading story books hahaha...i dun think that is gonna happen anytime SOON. So, new medical book authors should really take note that the next time they want to publish a book, MAKE IT INTERESTING and LESS TIRING. But, I have a feeling that it is an awful lot of hardwork to accomplish this as Medicine is all about fact and well fact are FACT. To make it interesting, you must be a hell of a CREATIVE doctor. Hmm, maybe someday..huhuhu. That's all for now...toodles >_<

xoxoFie

ni adelah gambar mase first year, do I look the same? haha I think I've change a lot!!!

HaiR intErvENtiOn

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For such a long time...I never thought I would ever say this. But I want SHORT HAIR. And nobody can stop me from having it!

mEteOr RaiN

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I read in a newspaper today that the astrologist predicted that, around early morning tomorrow or Monday (Kuala Lumpur peak hour 13th Dec 09 ~ 10.00pm), our sky will be decorated by Geminid Meteor Shower. We actually experience this phenomenon every year when our Earth faced the stars of Gemini and all of the meteor will looked as if they are originated from Gemini. The sight of this meteor shower has become more apparent to us every year since they found it about 150 years ago. They predicted that  this year around 100 meteor can be seen per hour at its peak hour. Exciting, right? How I wish I can go to somewhere high, where the sky is so apparent to witness this phenomenon. =)

more info : www.mydarksky.org

sHOeS mANIa!!!

The title says it all. It started when I saw VINCCI new calatog in CLEO DECEMBER Edition and I am now in a state of shoe addiction.  In medicine, ADDICTION is conceptualized as a habitual psychological or physiological dependence on a substance or a practice that is beyond voluntary control. Okay, so probably I am not in a state of addiction yet but I CRAVEEeeEEe for shoe..

MOMMA gimme some moolah!!!! T_T

these are the pictures that I took from the catalog =)

i'm in LOVE with this!!!!!

p/s no wonder the college provide us with another shoe rack....so that i can put more shoes in them..hahah <3

www.padini.com

gLee

GiFt

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I realized that in life, there are so many ironies. It can be bad and sometimes it can be good. Some call it a sign, a guidance from God to us in an indirect manner. Some call it coincidence. Maybe it is just something that our mind are drugged into thinking about in a way TOO DEEP than it actually should. Either way, we all like it. It sort of give life a tinge of excitement, something to hold on too. Anyway, it keeps me smiling. Love to all the irony of the world.You keep me HAPPY. Now, that is a word that I haven't put myself in for quite a while. Have a nice weekend everybody, may all of us be BLESSED by Allah s.w.t....Amin. Inner peace is happiness.

Allah did not promise the way would be easy . But Allah did promise that He would be with you in every single step of life as long as you want Him to...

p/s : Hanis, thank you for reminding me on this =)

PrOuD siSter

My sis managed to get into Dean's List!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS SIS

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

LOVE

xoxo

ur sister

MaKe-Up mE pRetTy

Courtesy of Zatil the Mak Andam 

Lepas nie boleh tolong make up kan i pulak *senyum tersipu-sipu* ;P

dReSs mE uP

love these dresses !! =)

What is my number again? Has it change?

MLIA my dAy

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I read this today on http://mylifeisaverage.com :


Today, my mom told me that PMS is like a dementor. It sucks the happiness of everyone around, but chocolate makes it all better. MLIA


gosh! -.-"

tHinKing diRty

OMG!!! i seriously don't know how to put this...but i thk my mind has been so corrupted. NOOOOOOOOooo!!! NOOOOOOOoooooo!!!!
What am I talking about? Okay, listen to this :

For the past one week, I've been thinking that they are singing :

If I knew then, What I know now

I wanna have s**

I do need you around

Alone in this bed the silence is so loud

So I'll treat you the best 

Baby , if I knew then what I know now

*instead of*

If I knew then, What I know now

I wouldn't have said

I don't need you around

Alone in this bed the silence is so loud

So I'll treat you the best 

Baby , if I knew then what I know now

Imagine how disappointed I am to hear they are singing something like that. Haiyo, How can I turn a harmless, innocent lyrics into something so dirty. Ahhhh!!!! wat happen to me??? Hey you, yes u there..the one who is smiling to urself. You are definitely responsible for this!!! GeeZz >_<

But, I'm glad that their lyrics are still sweet, cause for 1 second (more like one week) I thought that they have change into Kanye West-Usher-JayC types of guys...GeezZz, Thank goodness, they don't!!!

aLtEr tHe EnDinG

We all have different threshold of patience and pain

LOVE the mOvie

500 days of Summer

Only one sentence needed to describe this movie other than I LOVE it, this is the REAL love story.

p/s : kepada sesiapa yg belum tengok lagi, sila tgk pada kadar segera okey

Hello sUn!

OK...just so u noe, this post might sound a little bit lesbo...

I'm currently in love with this girl right here. I love her style, her clothes, her dresses, her hair...all so so sooo classic and vintage. What's more? She even have a very classic voice to match her classic style. And her sparkling blue blue eyes, gosh...like so mesmerizing. I've seen her in so many movies before like Failure to Launch, Yes Man and the most recent one is 500 days of Summer. Gosh!!! I'm in love with her man. If there's a question in Facebook Social Interview that asked 'If you had to choose to look like somebody for the rest of your life, who would you choose?' I would answer...Zooey Deschanel, definitely!!!!!. My current playlist, are her songs...gosh!! totally love her voice. hmm before I sounded more lesbo than this I better go..LOL ~ ^^ v

p/s : I know that I am not a lesbo because Zooey Deschanel are gone from my thought just by seeing this. HAHA.Hv a nice day y'all!!! 

20091202

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Dear Mimi,

You have been my bestfriend for more than 10 years now, I've lost count.You and me, we have gone through a lot together. I could not really recall how we actually started to be friends, it must have been way way back when we were in primary school. But, I remember how we got close to each other. Do you remember? When we were in Form 3, and we somehow had a crisis (you and Jen had a crisis) and you end up to be the only one left yg teman me pergi tuisyen kat Institut Kajang tuh. Gawd!!! Lawak gler kot time tu and NO! dun even TRY to remind me about that guy. And I really miss those times Mie, you always have some words of wisdom to get me back on my track. Even now, you've always manage to remind me to get back on my track. And you know, looking  back at all of our fights, its like a miracle how our friendship lasts till today eventhough I thk it have been through a lot of metamorphosis and bad weather. I guess, our good times are always worth while to believed in and hold on to. Thanks a lot for being my best friend Mie, I hope all 6 of us will have wonderful lives in the future and still have each other. I  LOVE you a lot makcik!!! MISS you so much!!! Anyway, I wish that you'll have a great birthday wherever you are. Study hard!!! May us both be great doctors one day together with Jen, and together we raWk that hoSpital with our awEsomeNess...hehe GOoD Luck in everything you do...Take Care. Oh yeah! May 23 brings u lots n lots of aWeSomeNess!!!! XOXO

Dear Hazim, 

Thank you for being my friend ever since I got into this medical faculty. Looking back, I'm actually amazed at how easy it is for us to get along. I can't really recall how it is that we got closer and become bestfriends. I guess when something comes just too easily it is easier for us to take it for granted. But, I will always remember the day that we first met, though I am not really thrilled at first to have you as my mentor (I would prefer a girl) I am glad that you are my mentor now. Thank you for being my support system when no body is around, for believing in me at times when I don't believe in myself. For making me laugh when half a smile seems so impossible. How I managed to stand having a guy as my best friend is beyond me. Though being the hot shot doctor that you are right now, you are getting way way wayyyy BUSIER (You are seriously making me having a second thought about O&G now ~ haha...you wish! so not gona happen, unless I go thru it myself  nnt) DON'T YOU DARE forget me. And well, since this is my blog in which you probably won't really have the time to read it. Find yourself a soulmate soon so that Hanis, will stop probing me about it!!!. All the best!!! May 24 brings you lots of CoOLneSs and MatUriTy!!!!

MAY YOU BOTH HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY

MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU BOTH ALWAYS

p/s : I clearly don't have anything better to do~LOL~ok ok kene pergi tambah brain mass.XOXO

For once, I wish you would try to start saying NO

PoSt NeW MoOn

Okay, I'm seriously in LOVE with Taylor Lautner. Help!

Oh yeah! WELCOME DECEMBER!!!

pSychiatRy GaRdeN

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Today, it is official that I'm in my 6th week of psychiatry posting. That means that next week I'll sit for my video exam. One thing I noticed about being in the Psychiatry Department is that they are filled with concern people. I mean  this is like the only posting that have a revision schedule. All of the lectures are super nice people. So nice that during our debate competition,  a very respected senior lecturer called and asked to watch our debate. Like voluntarily, I don't think other lecturer from other department care that much. Okay, I know that I am just rambling here.

Actually, after being in Psychiatry Posting for 6 weeks now, I've come to realize that mental health is soo soo soo important. All these mentally ill patient, they are just unfortunate people, born with a few risk factors, probably exposed to other few risk factors while they are living this complicated life and with some unfortunate twist of fate...BAAM! the perfect stressor/stressors and they end up with a disease. We are all prone to it. During this posting, I've heard so many stories. Top scorers goes down with schizoprenia after getting only 7A in SPM, a mother getting depression after the death of her baby during birth, a child getting ADHD after the divorced of his parents. I mean, when I listened to all these stories...it seems a little bit unfair, right? 

There are so many things that I wanted to point out here, but really I am a bit lazy to type. But I think, people should really read more on parenting skills, communication, stress management skills and most importantly try to be strong spiritually because having faith to Allah for whatever happens has its own reason, it gives strength to believe that everything is gonna be okay. Other than that, people should really realize that they need support system, and people need to realize that other people need their help. We human need each other to  response to their cries, their agony, human need each other to lean on, a helping hand. We are not alone, we live as a family. We are one another. So I guess that's all my random ramble for today...need to head to the library and learn something theoretical about Psychiatry.

xoxo fie

CupPy cAke fOr SuMmEr

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY

HANIS SYAHIRA

MAY ALL OF YOUR WISHES COME TRUE

STAY INNOCENT AND SWEET

SMILE ALWAYS

p/s : i buat cupcake nie all by myself, incase you are wondering..hee. toodles XD 

It iS Okay

My mind has been all over the place lately, my mind is wondering on a path that I should seriously stop visiting, my heart are always in chaos...seriously, I am a mess. I don't want to be, all I want is for things to just be as normal as it used to. I want things to go back to the way it was. Gawd!!! why do things seems so hard than it  actually is? Today, as I surf on the internet to take my mind away from something that could possibly be nothing, I found this blog that have so many article that is a bit like the chicken soup of the soul but it is Islamic, check it out! Its like a light from Allah s.w.t reaching out a helping hand to me. I am just really grateful, Alhamdullilah...I think, whatever it is I just needed to have a lot of FAITH!

Quoted from the blog :

Ujian yang datang juga tandanya Allah sayangkan kita. Jadi ambillah masa untuk menilai diri dan meningkatkan ketakwaan kita kepada Allah dalam apa jua yang kita lakukan. Lakukanlah untuk mencari redha Allah. Fikir dengan positif bahawa setiap dugaan datang dari Allah dan pasti ada hikmah yang tersendiri.

“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” (al-Baqarah: 216)

little drop of thought

can friendship be broken?

everything just don't seem to be the same anymore

i wanted to trust. i want no secret.

i want things to be simple

but why does it seems to be getting harder

and further away

from me

p/s : girlfriends, this is the perfect time to send me those boxes of hugs, kisses n love.

Eid-uL-AdHa in JoHoR

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I'll be celebrating Aidiladha in Johor this year. Seems like forever since the last time I went back to Johor. I missed it a LOT of cz, but it is the journey that I don't really like. Thank goodness that we're going back at night, at least I dun have to be stuck in the car while the sun is burning me thru the window.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA EVERYONE

apa yg kita korban kan tahun nie?

p/s : Remember, people memories of you are all of the good things that you do, and all of the bad things that you say...So, keep the all the sweet talks in a cupboard if u don't really or ever gonna mean them, think carefully about all the bad things that you are gonna say, cz it stays and most important of all do a LOT of good things while you still can...

I rePeAt, I aM nOt a sHopAHoLiC...I aM juSt a XX

i want this shoe!!!!!

Ok so, i found this website of a shoe shop called Syu Shu, haha so cute like susu. So anyways, these are the kind of shoes I would really like to try, buy if it suits me (even though I doubt it). One thing for sure, I really like looking at these objects of art. I so totally love shoes.

 

glads heels, smart right?

boots

 

owned by diana rikasari

Website :

http://www.syushu.com/

http://twitter.com/syushu

http://www.notjustalabel.com/syushu

CeLebRatioNs of LoVe

HAPPY 24th ANNIVERSARY

UMMI AND AYAH

Yes, they have been married for 24 years and still counting (hopefully lasts till the end of time). Even though I don't say this very often or at all admit it in front of my parents (are you mad??!!??) I actually adores what they have here, they are the reason why I believe in true love. You know, to me true love doesn't mean  a joyful, easy and problem free journey coated with chocolates and pavement that is embedded with rubies, gold and diamonds . But  it is about friendship, trust and understanding....it is about no matter how hard things may get, how strong you wish to leave and find a new lovely life...you rather bounce back to the same path and hold that person hands, look at them in the eye and say 'Everything is gonna be okay, I am here for you, and I'll never leave cause you are the only one person that I love'. Yes, I am hopelessly romantic, I cried a LOT!. My best friend called me a cry baby (that is how bad it is). Though sometimes, (I dunno if I succeeded) I would like to pretend that I don't care. My parents, they are not perfect nor have the same opinion on everything. But somehow, they make it work even though it is hard sometimes. I truly LOVE them cause they make me feel like I have so much LOVE inside of me to give away. Anyway, I know now that everything will happen on its own. All I have to do is watch and have a lot of faith. My Ayah once told me that,

Rezeki, Jodoh dan Ajal itu di tangan Allah S.W.T, you don't have to worry cause Allah know what's best for you and your capabilities to handle the life that he has design for you.

And you know what? I think my Ayah is right. I always like to hear his advice. He always give good rational advice that I sometimes find it hard to accept but I know is right. And my mum, she just make you feel happy and safe just by hugging you and kissing you. Gawd! Suddenly, my throat is filled with I-LOVE-YOU-SO-MUCH-UMMI-AND-AYAH lump.

LOVE YOU UMMI AND AYAH

I HOPE YOUR FUTURE DAYS WILL BE FILLED WITH BLESSING BY ALLAH SWT AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS X10000000000000 OF LOVE, COURAGE, PATIENCE, HAPPINESS AND LAUGHTER <3

cUte LittLe tHinGs I LoVe

Now, isn't these just soooooo CUTE and ADORABLE <3 <3 <3

rAnDoM pApAdoM MunDoMe

OK so, I once had a dream...that I wana be a photographer. Because I like to take pictures. When my dad give his Kodak camera to me when I was about 11 or 12....yeah this is where my interest about medicine starting to shake. Yeah! that is definitely the moment, because before that I was just very trilled to be playing with plastics stethoscope and pushing torchlight into the mouth of every human beings that is patient and cooperative enough to act as my so very unfortunate patient. 

So anyway, yes a camera...it was a very old one and big, do u wana know how big? It was even bigger than the glasses case that ugys has nowadays and heavy too. It uses films and my dad only permit me a roll of 36 films at one time cause he knows that I will be very excited snapping away all 'useless' photos as he called it. And now, with my own scholarship I owned my own digital camera....okay, I am not writting this post to tell ugys that I have a digital camera cause the camera is kinda old (gonna be 4 years soon). 

Anyway, what I wana say is the other day, while my bestfriend and I was watching a movie, we saw this cool camera Ad. I say it is cool because I remember saying to myself wow! that is so very cool!!! I wana have that!!! just before my bestfriend said "Hey, can I get that for my birthday?" -_-". Oh! I wish I could doink! But I dun have enough money...and if I have enough, I would probably wana buy it for myself first..gomenasai Hazim-Chan....hahaha and my friend Nabilah in Japan, she got herself an iphone for RM374.44!!!!!! warghhh!!!! best gler kowt....and so today, as I waited for 3pm for Far to pick me up to buy stuff to make cuppies (^^)v I am seryesly thinking of wanting iphone and that cool camera. Ok itu saje...

xoxo fie

Quoted By

I used to think that it was better to have too much than too little, but now I think if the too much was never supposed to be yours, you should just take what is yours and give the rest back. That way, you never have to give back the things you love. 

~ A Book of Tomorrow (Chapter10, page 107) by Cecelia Ahern 

ObsEsSiOn oF FaShiOn

Okay so....I am just really into this girl blog currently. I dream about having her wardrobe, shoes and life (if permitted). Seriously, being a daughter of Karl Lagerfeld's, I think this girl is just sooo sooo sooo LUCKY. Now this is REAL jealousy right here...I just can't be more jealous than this. Seriously trapped in this LOVE-HATE feeling ~ ahh misery  

www.seaofshoes.com

pOsitiVe cHaRGe

Sometimes in life, without we realize...we spend so much time focusing in the negativity of life we caused all of the positivity to feel left out and left us. Leaving us in a room of no doors and no windows to breathe let alone to go out to possibilities. I guess, I've been doing that a LOT and it has given me a lot of headache and problems. 

So hail to this dear friends!!!! Push away Negativity!!!!! (Die if you must) Rise up Positivity!!!!!

You all probably have no idea of what I'm talking about. But hey, who said that I want you guys to understand anyway. Haha! Yeah, I'm showing attitude again. Sorry, I just can't help it.

HAPPY HOLIDAY DEAR BELOVED READERS

(to tell you the truth, I can't wait for what is install for me once it is over)

Till then, keep on smiling and let the POSITIVE things happen!!!

TrUtH iS....

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I've been having a very hard time to write an entry nowadays....i dunno why. Maybe my brain has become jammed with all of the thinking that I've been doing. Its not that I dun have anythg to write or anythg to tell. But everytime I sat in front of this monitor, my head went blank. I dun want to write things that I feel like letting out but would be misinterpreted by somebody. Yea, itu adalah bahaya blog entry. Readers will think that every single thg that is written matters. 

Sometimes, it is only an act of impulse. Sometimes it is just something that has been playing around a confused mind. Sometimes merely it is somethg that the blogger wrote to well....so that they won't have to think about it. Sometimes it is not even slightly related to the blogger at all. Sometimes it is even a lie. Sometimes well...let just say, wen it comes to blog entry, u'll never know or understand just by reading it....haihh mmg asyik rase nak mengeluh! -_________-"

This week, of all week in November has  to be the most TERRIBLE, HORRIFIC, SAD week ever!!!! I think I've damaged something that I really treasure  and love VERY BADLY. GAWD!!!! ALERT!!!ALERT!!! CHANGE OF TOPIC. CHANGE OF TOPIC. NO, I DUN WANNA TALK BOUT THIS. But, this feeling of you  being distance....arghhh!!! I hate it. HATE IT. I hope it is only my imagination. My delusional feeling. SLEEP. Tomorrow is gonna be a new day....

p/s : i really do miss u...miss everything about you, miss talking to you like old time the MOST T_T

PaSsWoRD ProTeCted eNtRy

Password Protected

ABC and 123 is easy

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned 

Cause perfect, didn't feel so perfect
Tryin' to fit a square into a circle was no life
I defy...

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean...

HeRe coMes thE rAiN

rainy day by el lozah

I love rainy days...I know most people hate it as it distort people plans to go out, it is all wet, your laundry will failed to dry n go all smelly, motorcyclist has to find shelter under the bridge, the traffic will be terrible, accident rate increases...well let just say that all of you can go on and on about how bad rainy day is.

But to me...rainy day is extremely soothing, the sound of rain drops are like music that tells u the weather is there for you and that you are not alone. The smell of rain and its freshness. Yeah, I can't go out...but I like to stay in anyway. Just imagine a rainy day, rain drops are playing musics on ur window, on your roof, on the pavement...while you stay in wrapped up in your blanket so cozy on the bed silently listening to the sound of rain calming you down. So tender the nature is hugging you and singing you a lullaby to kissed all of your problems and worries away and thus bringing you into the sea of dreams where miracles happen and life is painted with all of your favourite colours, sugar coated with love, joy, happiness and laughter. I like rain, to me it is not gloomy at all...it showers the nature with colours so that all of the trees look green and flowers has multiple colours.

p/s : told you I'm twisted...

17th December 2008

A lesson finds the most common denominator and link us all together, like a chain. At the end of that chain dangles a clock, and on the face of the clock the passing of time is registered. We hear it, the hushed tick-tock sound that breaks any silence, and we see it, but often we don't feel it. Each second makes its mark on every single person's life; comes and goes, quietly disappearing without fanfare, evaporating into air like steam from piping hot Christmas pudding. Enough time leaves us warm;when our time is gone, it too leaves us cold.

Time is more precious than gold, more precious than diamonds, more precious than oil or any valuable treasures. It is time that we do not have enough of it; it is time that causes the war within our hearts,  so we must spend it wisely. time cannot be packaged and ribboned and left under trees for Christmas morning.

Time can't be given. But it can be shared.

~ Quoted from 'The Gift' by Cecelia Ahern

p/s : can I share it with you for awhile longer?

WHitE FlaG

Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I am. I know that I dislike complicated stuff. Usually I will try my best to bury it six feet under as soon as possible. Maybe keeping this thing, having this thing inside me has been fluctuating my emotions. Truth is, by shutting down that part of me when I am with you. Don't you realize that you are splitting me into two person? Is that fair? Just so that u don't get stress up? You don't even wanna talk about it to make me feel better. I can't shut this forever, I can't stop talking bout it forever and I definitely can't pretend that I am okay and that I am happy whenever I am with you with another part of me shut deep inside a cupboard. Till when is it gonna be about you, what about me, what about what I want, what about what make me feel stress up? Do you think I am happy like this? I am not a very bright and shinny person. You may be right that my life is almost perfect. I don't have anythg to make me feel sad...yes, true all true...except for you. You make me sad. I won't lie to myself any longer. This is my blog. And if I can't say all of this to you. I have every right to be putting it up in my blog. You can be as complicated as you want. What would I care. You have put a label. That label is a line that I decide to follow. Whether you like it or not, this is me thinking rationally. Whatever happens, it is not on me anymore. I have done everythg that I could think off for you. So now...I am telling you that I have surrender.

SticKy CaNdy

A day out in a mall...away from hectic aura of the college and hospital (^^)v

this is UiTM Faculty of Medicine College in Selayang ~ the one yg nampak cam flying saucer tulah cafe yg i ckp cafe UFO tu =)

This is a story about 2 girls who...well trying to avoid studying n class...so they decided to go to a mall. *For what?* For what you asked??? Its a M.A.L.L.!!! Do we need a reason??? Ngeh..ngeh..ngeh...(tetiba emo tak tentu pasal)

So anyways, bermulalah pengembaraan dua sekawan itu di sebuah pusat membeli-belah yang dinamakan One Utama. Setibanya mereka disana...mereka pergi ke *cut scene*. (Maaf, babak itu terpaksa di cut atas sebab2 confidentiality ;p). Lepas tu, diorang pergi jalan2 tgk kasut, mekap, baju (eh...adakah?) dan makan-makan. *Makan ape?* hmm...makan sandwich and cookies kat Subway and some Korean satay..sedapp...first time makan satay harga RM5.00 with BBQ sauce and mustard...heh (^o^)

Gerai Makanan Korea

 

Satay yang dipanggang 

 

dah siap utk dimakan! 

Pastukan...pastukan...*melompat keriangan* (nilah part yg paling interesting dalam adventure kitorang) we go and visit this new candy shop called STICKY!!! (-_-"). Nak tahu apa yg menarik sgt pasal candy shop sticky nie??? Its nice because they sell handmade candy and what's so interesting was that we got the opportunity to watch how they did it! (darn!! i should have brought my camera along that day!) *menyesal*. So dua sekawan ni pun akhirnya end up duduk depan cermin kedai candy tu tak berkelip2 dari mula sampai habis proses membuat candy. Disebabkan tidak membawa camera...hanya dapat amik gambar guna phone je, dan sangatlah hampeh gambarnye..hehe

 

mengguli gula ~ penat woo *abg tu kata*

 

sampel candy yg di jual

~TAMMAT~

tHinKinG is A diSeASe

Many people says 'don't count your worries but count your blessings' ' look at the world, there are other more unfortunate people other than you' 'be grateful for what you have, life could be a lot worst'....yada yada yada...

As much as I want to be very positive and accepting right now, I can't. Any other day, I would probably indulge in these wise words and take a deep breath and live. But, after I have mapped out all of the sequence of events, playback every memories and every conversation....somehow I realize that my heart don't talk about it anymore. It has become confused and weak. My source of strength to have patience has gone/become dysfunction! How does that happen? So....since the mind are the one in charge now... it does everything by RATIONALIZATION...

Rationalization 1

Are you happy with your condition right now?

If not, Why do you keep on going?

Rationalization 2

If  you like something so bad (so much), would you wait till later to get it even when you can get it now?

Rationalization 3

If you are willing to compromise for others so that they can be happy, don't others rationally be willing to compromise for you so that you will be happy?