the TRUTH is

dragon ball ada 7 biji semua nya.....hahahhahaha

hrmmm no no.....the truth is...
i'm damaged...
i'm scared to love....i'm scared of guys...
i dun trust guys easily nor i have hope on guys...
any invitation for a date...i take it as a joke, any flirtation and even proposal also has been taken as a joke..
any compliment was only seen by smthg nice ppl say to be nice...or as a sweetener to a conversation...
i'm not kidding in saying that i dun trust in love, i dun trust in forever....seryesly i'm not...
i'm not McDreamy Fairytale anymore.....i am real.....forever is just a word, just like love, care, sorry...all can be thrown away like its nothg....i've seen it happen...so yeah, none of those are real....

LOVE....if it ever wants to get back into my life, it have to regain my TRUST....

wise QUOTE from Grey's Anatomy

coz growin' up sometimes means leavin' other people behind...

something i'll never say

i will never say it...not even here. too much information, even for myself to take in....
how i wish i dun feel it. how i wish i dun remember. how i wish i dun care. how i wish u don't affect me in any way.......................................

but u are part of me, part of my life....
forever is impossible.....but it seems like a very nice thg to have...

u are GREAT just the way u are

i already love ur imperfections

i hate

work politics
klang
gagak
favoritism
log book
assessment
exams
selfish lazy ppl

she is who i go to

i noe what i am about to say are goin to sound sooo childish...but i seriously feel sad thinking that zatil is goin to quit, i really hope she won't....cause i need her here....if she is so faraway, i duno wen am i goin to see her

i won't be able to just visit her in the ward or hv a quick bite with her...i noe...i noe....i sounded sooo la lesbo rite now. but zatil is my bestest best fren....she is like the only one that is always there at my critical times. at least for the past 3 years nie.....she the only person whom i noe understand me the best, who really accept me the way that i am, whom i noe i can count upon no matter what...we can even bitch about the same ppl. if jen have mimi, i have zatil....i feel like i am losing her. ntahla...i just feel so sad....i noe it is not the end of the friendship even if she quit. i noe she will always still be my bestfriend. i just dun like la this whole idea, i am worried that if she choose to quit...she will regret it in the future...i dun like that she is goin to be faraway from me...i am seriously gonna miss her...

today, seeing anis and eja get married, seeing them with their hubby....i get this weird feeling. it is not a sad feeling or a jealousy...it is sumwhat, peaceful, happy and hopeful feeling....for the first time after a very long time. i felt like it would be nice to have that someone who promise to be with you no matter what, who promise to be with you forever, who you can come home too. seeing them.....i'm moved and touched by their happiness. i guess it would be nice to have somebody to love and spend my whole life with. though i thk i've lost interest on guys for quite awhile...i guess, my heart was badly injured...that person dun even realized just how much he have hurt me. with zatil issues goin on....i guess i've come to realized that it would be nice to have someone to hold on to no matter what. like an insurance for life, ur soul guardian who will take care of u and ur heart forever...where can i ever find that guy....

crumbs of thoughts

then there are this other soul who appreciate the beauty that i saw....

Count on ME

e

dedicating this song to my dear bestfriends

i LOVE you guys

SO SO SOOOO  MUCCCHHHH!!!!!

Spur of the moment

That moment, nothing else seem to matter but us...only you me and our laughter
i feel like.........
i want to talk to you till the dawn breaks
i want to bury my self in your smell
i want to tuck myself in your arms
i want to fall asleep with you
away from the reality
away from the world we know...