pSychiatRy GaRdeN

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Today, it is official that I'm in my 6th week of psychiatry posting. That means that next week I'll sit for my video exam. One thing I noticed about being in the Psychiatry Department is that they are filled with concern people. I mean  this is like the only posting that have a revision schedule. All of the lectures are super nice people. So nice that during our debate competition,  a very respected senior lecturer called and asked to watch our debate. Like voluntarily, I don't think other lecturer from other department care that much. Okay, I know that I am just rambling here.

Actually, after being in Psychiatry Posting for 6 weeks now, I've come to realize that mental health is soo soo soo important. All these mentally ill patient, they are just unfortunate people, born with a few risk factors, probably exposed to other few risk factors while they are living this complicated life and with some unfortunate twist of fate...BAAM! the perfect stressor/stressors and they end up with a disease. We are all prone to it. During this posting, I've heard so many stories. Top scorers goes down with schizoprenia after getting only 7A in SPM, a mother getting depression after the death of her baby during birth, a child getting ADHD after the divorced of his parents. I mean, when I listened to all these stories...it seems a little bit unfair, right? 

There are so many things that I wanted to point out here, but really I am a bit lazy to type. But I think, people should really read more on parenting skills, communication, stress management skills and most importantly try to be strong spiritually because having faith to Allah for whatever happens has its own reason, it gives strength to believe that everything is gonna be okay. Other than that, people should really realize that they need support system, and people need to realize that other people need their help. We human need each other to  response to their cries, their agony, human need each other to lean on, a helping hand. We are not alone, we live as a family. We are one another. So I guess that's all my random ramble for today...need to head to the library and learn something theoretical about Psychiatry.

xoxo fie

CupPy cAke fOr SuMmEr

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY

HANIS SYAHIRA

MAY ALL OF YOUR WISHES COME TRUE

STAY INNOCENT AND SWEET

SMILE ALWAYS

p/s : i buat cupcake nie all by myself, incase you are wondering..hee. toodles XD 

It iS Okay

My mind has been all over the place lately, my mind is wondering on a path that I should seriously stop visiting, my heart are always in chaos...seriously, I am a mess. I don't want to be, all I want is for things to just be as normal as it used to. I want things to go back to the way it was. Gawd!!! why do things seems so hard than it  actually is? Today, as I surf on the internet to take my mind away from something that could possibly be nothing, I found this blog that have so many article that is a bit like the chicken soup of the soul but it is Islamic, check it out! Its like a light from Allah s.w.t reaching out a helping hand to me. I am just really grateful, Alhamdullilah...I think, whatever it is I just needed to have a lot of FAITH!

Quoted from the blog :

Ujian yang datang juga tandanya Allah sayangkan kita. Jadi ambillah masa untuk menilai diri dan meningkatkan ketakwaan kita kepada Allah dalam apa jua yang kita lakukan. Lakukanlah untuk mencari redha Allah. Fikir dengan positif bahawa setiap dugaan datang dari Allah dan pasti ada hikmah yang tersendiri.

“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” (al-Baqarah: 216)

little drop of thought

can friendship be broken?

everything just don't seem to be the same anymore

i wanted to trust. i want no secret.

i want things to be simple

but why does it seems to be getting harder

and further away

from me

p/s : girlfriends, this is the perfect time to send me those boxes of hugs, kisses n love.

Eid-uL-AdHa in JoHoR

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I'll be celebrating Aidiladha in Johor this year. Seems like forever since the last time I went back to Johor. I missed it a LOT of cz, but it is the journey that I don't really like. Thank goodness that we're going back at night, at least I dun have to be stuck in the car while the sun is burning me thru the window.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA EVERYONE

apa yg kita korban kan tahun nie?

p/s : Remember, people memories of you are all of the good things that you do, and all of the bad things that you say...So, keep the all the sweet talks in a cupboard if u don't really or ever gonna mean them, think carefully about all the bad things that you are gonna say, cz it stays and most important of all do a LOT of good things while you still can...

I rePeAt, I aM nOt a sHopAHoLiC...I aM juSt a XX

i want this shoe!!!!!

Ok so, i found this website of a shoe shop called Syu Shu, haha so cute like susu. So anyways, these are the kind of shoes I would really like to try, buy if it suits me (even though I doubt it). One thing for sure, I really like looking at these objects of art. I so totally love shoes.

 

glads heels, smart right?

boots

 

owned by diana rikasari

Website :

http://www.syushu.com/

http://twitter.com/syushu

http://www.notjustalabel.com/syushu

CeLebRatioNs of LoVe

HAPPY 24th ANNIVERSARY

UMMI AND AYAH

Yes, they have been married for 24 years and still counting (hopefully lasts till the end of time). Even though I don't say this very often or at all admit it in front of my parents (are you mad??!!??) I actually adores what they have here, they are the reason why I believe in true love. You know, to me true love doesn't mean  a joyful, easy and problem free journey coated with chocolates and pavement that is embedded with rubies, gold and diamonds . But  it is about friendship, trust and understanding....it is about no matter how hard things may get, how strong you wish to leave and find a new lovely life...you rather bounce back to the same path and hold that person hands, look at them in the eye and say 'Everything is gonna be okay, I am here for you, and I'll never leave cause you are the only one person that I love'. Yes, I am hopelessly romantic, I cried a LOT!. My best friend called me a cry baby (that is how bad it is). Though sometimes, (I dunno if I succeeded) I would like to pretend that I don't care. My parents, they are not perfect nor have the same opinion on everything. But somehow, they make it work even though it is hard sometimes. I truly LOVE them cause they make me feel like I have so much LOVE inside of me to give away. Anyway, I know now that everything will happen on its own. All I have to do is watch and have a lot of faith. My Ayah once told me that,

Rezeki, Jodoh dan Ajal itu di tangan Allah S.W.T, you don't have to worry cause Allah know what's best for you and your capabilities to handle the life that he has design for you.

And you know what? I think my Ayah is right. I always like to hear his advice. He always give good rational advice that I sometimes find it hard to accept but I know is right. And my mum, she just make you feel happy and safe just by hugging you and kissing you. Gawd! Suddenly, my throat is filled with I-LOVE-YOU-SO-MUCH-UMMI-AND-AYAH lump.

LOVE YOU UMMI AND AYAH

I HOPE YOUR FUTURE DAYS WILL BE FILLED WITH BLESSING BY ALLAH SWT AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS X10000000000000 OF LOVE, COURAGE, PATIENCE, HAPPINESS AND LAUGHTER <3

cUte LittLe tHinGs I LoVe

Now, isn't these just soooooo CUTE and ADORABLE <3 <3 <3

rAnDoM pApAdoM MunDoMe

OK so, I once had a dream...that I wana be a photographer. Because I like to take pictures. When my dad give his Kodak camera to me when I was about 11 or 12....yeah this is where my interest about medicine starting to shake. Yeah! that is definitely the moment, because before that I was just very trilled to be playing with plastics stethoscope and pushing torchlight into the mouth of every human beings that is patient and cooperative enough to act as my so very unfortunate patient. 

So anyway, yes a camera...it was a very old one and big, do u wana know how big? It was even bigger than the glasses case that ugys has nowadays and heavy too. It uses films and my dad only permit me a roll of 36 films at one time cause he knows that I will be very excited snapping away all 'useless' photos as he called it. And now, with my own scholarship I owned my own digital camera....okay, I am not writting this post to tell ugys that I have a digital camera cause the camera is kinda old (gonna be 4 years soon). 

Anyway, what I wana say is the other day, while my bestfriend and I was watching a movie, we saw this cool camera Ad. I say it is cool because I remember saying to myself wow! that is so very cool!!! I wana have that!!! just before my bestfriend said "Hey, can I get that for my birthday?" -_-". Oh! I wish I could doink! But I dun have enough money...and if I have enough, I would probably wana buy it for myself first..gomenasai Hazim-Chan....hahaha and my friend Nabilah in Japan, she got herself an iphone for RM374.44!!!!!! warghhh!!!! best gler kowt....and so today, as I waited for 3pm for Far to pick me up to buy stuff to make cuppies (^^)v I am seryesly thinking of wanting iphone and that cool camera. Ok itu saje...

xoxo fie

Quoted By

I used to think that it was better to have too much than too little, but now I think if the too much was never supposed to be yours, you should just take what is yours and give the rest back. That way, you never have to give back the things you love. 

~ A Book of Tomorrow (Chapter10, page 107) by Cecelia Ahern 

ObsEsSiOn oF FaShiOn

Okay so....I am just really into this girl blog currently. I dream about having her wardrobe, shoes and life (if permitted). Seriously, being a daughter of Karl Lagerfeld's, I think this girl is just sooo sooo sooo LUCKY. Now this is REAL jealousy right here...I just can't be more jealous than this. Seriously trapped in this LOVE-HATE feeling ~ ahh misery  

www.seaofshoes.com

pOsitiVe cHaRGe

Sometimes in life, without we realize...we spend so much time focusing in the negativity of life we caused all of the positivity to feel left out and left us. Leaving us in a room of no doors and no windows to breathe let alone to go out to possibilities. I guess, I've been doing that a LOT and it has given me a lot of headache and problems. 

So hail to this dear friends!!!! Push away Negativity!!!!! (Die if you must) Rise up Positivity!!!!!

You all probably have no idea of what I'm talking about. But hey, who said that I want you guys to understand anyway. Haha! Yeah, I'm showing attitude again. Sorry, I just can't help it.

HAPPY HOLIDAY DEAR BELOVED READERS

(to tell you the truth, I can't wait for what is install for me once it is over)

Till then, keep on smiling and let the POSITIVE things happen!!!

TrUtH iS....

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I've been having a very hard time to write an entry nowadays....i dunno why. Maybe my brain has become jammed with all of the thinking that I've been doing. Its not that I dun have anythg to write or anythg to tell. But everytime I sat in front of this monitor, my head went blank. I dun want to write things that I feel like letting out but would be misinterpreted by somebody. Yea, itu adalah bahaya blog entry. Readers will think that every single thg that is written matters. 

Sometimes, it is only an act of impulse. Sometimes it is just something that has been playing around a confused mind. Sometimes merely it is somethg that the blogger wrote to well....so that they won't have to think about it. Sometimes it is not even slightly related to the blogger at all. Sometimes it is even a lie. Sometimes well...let just say, wen it comes to blog entry, u'll never know or understand just by reading it....haihh mmg asyik rase nak mengeluh! -_________-"

This week, of all week in November has  to be the most TERRIBLE, HORRIFIC, SAD week ever!!!! I think I've damaged something that I really treasure  and love VERY BADLY. GAWD!!!! ALERT!!!ALERT!!! CHANGE OF TOPIC. CHANGE OF TOPIC. NO, I DUN WANNA TALK BOUT THIS. But, this feeling of you  being distance....arghhh!!! I hate it. HATE IT. I hope it is only my imagination. My delusional feeling. SLEEP. Tomorrow is gonna be a new day....

p/s : i really do miss u...miss everything about you, miss talking to you like old time the MOST T_T

PaSsWoRD ProTeCted eNtRy

Password Protected

ABC and 123 is easy

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned 

Cause perfect, didn't feel so perfect
Tryin' to fit a square into a circle was no life
I defy...

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean...

HeRe coMes thE rAiN

rainy day by el lozah

I love rainy days...I know most people hate it as it distort people plans to go out, it is all wet, your laundry will failed to dry n go all smelly, motorcyclist has to find shelter under the bridge, the traffic will be terrible, accident rate increases...well let just say that all of you can go on and on about how bad rainy day is.

But to me...rainy day is extremely soothing, the sound of rain drops are like music that tells u the weather is there for you and that you are not alone. The smell of rain and its freshness. Yeah, I can't go out...but I like to stay in anyway. Just imagine a rainy day, rain drops are playing musics on ur window, on your roof, on the pavement...while you stay in wrapped up in your blanket so cozy on the bed silently listening to the sound of rain calming you down. So tender the nature is hugging you and singing you a lullaby to kissed all of your problems and worries away and thus bringing you into the sea of dreams where miracles happen and life is painted with all of your favourite colours, sugar coated with love, joy, happiness and laughter. I like rain, to me it is not gloomy at all...it showers the nature with colours so that all of the trees look green and flowers has multiple colours.

p/s : told you I'm twisted...

17th December 2008

A lesson finds the most common denominator and link us all together, like a chain. At the end of that chain dangles a clock, and on the face of the clock the passing of time is registered. We hear it, the hushed tick-tock sound that breaks any silence, and we see it, but often we don't feel it. Each second makes its mark on every single person's life; comes and goes, quietly disappearing without fanfare, evaporating into air like steam from piping hot Christmas pudding. Enough time leaves us warm;when our time is gone, it too leaves us cold.

Time is more precious than gold, more precious than diamonds, more precious than oil or any valuable treasures. It is time that we do not have enough of it; it is time that causes the war within our hearts,  so we must spend it wisely. time cannot be packaged and ribboned and left under trees for Christmas morning.

Time can't be given. But it can be shared.

~ Quoted from 'The Gift' by Cecelia Ahern

p/s : can I share it with you for awhile longer?

WHitE FlaG

Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I am. I know that I dislike complicated stuff. Usually I will try my best to bury it six feet under as soon as possible. Maybe keeping this thing, having this thing inside me has been fluctuating my emotions. Truth is, by shutting down that part of me when I am with you. Don't you realize that you are splitting me into two person? Is that fair? Just so that u don't get stress up? You don't even wanna talk about it to make me feel better. I can't shut this forever, I can't stop talking bout it forever and I definitely can't pretend that I am okay and that I am happy whenever I am with you with another part of me shut deep inside a cupboard. Till when is it gonna be about you, what about me, what about what I want, what about what make me feel stress up? Do you think I am happy like this? I am not a very bright and shinny person. You may be right that my life is almost perfect. I don't have anythg to make me feel sad...yes, true all true...except for you. You make me sad. I won't lie to myself any longer. This is my blog. And if I can't say all of this to you. I have every right to be putting it up in my blog. You can be as complicated as you want. What would I care. You have put a label. That label is a line that I decide to follow. Whether you like it or not, this is me thinking rationally. Whatever happens, it is not on me anymore. I have done everythg that I could think off for you. So now...I am telling you that I have surrender.

SticKy CaNdy

A day out in a mall...away from hectic aura of the college and hospital (^^)v

this is UiTM Faculty of Medicine College in Selayang ~ the one yg nampak cam flying saucer tulah cafe yg i ckp cafe UFO tu =)

This is a story about 2 girls who...well trying to avoid studying n class...so they decided to go to a mall. *For what?* For what you asked??? Its a M.A.L.L.!!! Do we need a reason??? Ngeh..ngeh..ngeh...(tetiba emo tak tentu pasal)

So anyways, bermulalah pengembaraan dua sekawan itu di sebuah pusat membeli-belah yang dinamakan One Utama. Setibanya mereka disana...mereka pergi ke *cut scene*. (Maaf, babak itu terpaksa di cut atas sebab2 confidentiality ;p). Lepas tu, diorang pergi jalan2 tgk kasut, mekap, baju (eh...adakah?) dan makan-makan. *Makan ape?* hmm...makan sandwich and cookies kat Subway and some Korean satay..sedapp...first time makan satay harga RM5.00 with BBQ sauce and mustard...heh (^o^)

Gerai Makanan Korea

 

Satay yang dipanggang 

 

dah siap utk dimakan! 

Pastukan...pastukan...*melompat keriangan* (nilah part yg paling interesting dalam adventure kitorang) we go and visit this new candy shop called STICKY!!! (-_-"). Nak tahu apa yg menarik sgt pasal candy shop sticky nie??? Its nice because they sell handmade candy and what's so interesting was that we got the opportunity to watch how they did it! (darn!! i should have brought my camera along that day!) *menyesal*. So dua sekawan ni pun akhirnya end up duduk depan cermin kedai candy tu tak berkelip2 dari mula sampai habis proses membuat candy. Disebabkan tidak membawa camera...hanya dapat amik gambar guna phone je, dan sangatlah hampeh gambarnye..hehe

 

mengguli gula ~ penat woo *abg tu kata*

 

sampel candy yg di jual

~TAMMAT~

tHinKinG is A diSeASe

Many people says 'don't count your worries but count your blessings' ' look at the world, there are other more unfortunate people other than you' 'be grateful for what you have, life could be a lot worst'....yada yada yada...

As much as I want to be very positive and accepting right now, I can't. Any other day, I would probably indulge in these wise words and take a deep breath and live. But, after I have mapped out all of the sequence of events, playback every memories and every conversation....somehow I realize that my heart don't talk about it anymore. It has become confused and weak. My source of strength to have patience has gone/become dysfunction! How does that happen? So....since the mind are the one in charge now... it does everything by RATIONALIZATION...

Rationalization 1

Are you happy with your condition right now?

If not, Why do you keep on going?

Rationalization 2

If  you like something so bad (so much), would you wait till later to get it even when you can get it now?

Rationalization 3

If you are willing to compromise for others so that they can be happy, don't others rationally be willing to compromise for you so that you will be happy?

UnCLe KraCkEr

Dedicating this song to all the special people in my life that has been there for me

through every sadness and every happiness

(you know who you are)

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

for

MAKING ME SMILE =)

p/s : i'll try my best not to dissapoint you, i promise...

CreAM pUffs

Lupakan fikiran ini, rasa ini. Itu yang aku ingatkan diriku hari-hari. Orang kata, tiada guna berharap pada sesuatu yang tidak pasti. Ya, maksudnya perbuatan itu sia-sia. Sia-sia itu membuang masa. Masa itu berharga. Jadi itu adalah suatu pembaziran. Ya, jika sesaat itu harganya satu kupang...maka aku telah berjaya membuang sebanyak RM12,614,400.00. WAH!!! Tapi....bagaimana harus ku buang. Ku rasa apa yang ku rasa. Aku ikhlas. Tiada dusta. Tiada pernah ragu. OK, itu tipu. Ragu-ragu datang bila perkara yang aku tidak suka berlaku. Tapi sekejap sahaja. Selain itu, aku PASTI. Ya, rasa dan fikiran ini gagah, ia berkerjasama dan mempunyai rentak satu irama. Jika aku punya kuasa sakti pasti ku pilih untuk dilenyapkan sahaja fikiran dan rasa ini. Hentikan nya dari terus memperkasa. Mungkin ketika itu semua komplikasi akan terhapus. Semua orang juga boleh hidup tenang, hadapi hari-hari dengan lapang, tanpa fikiran2 menganggu, tanpa situasi2 kurang senang. Mungkin akan bahagia rasa dihati. Hari ini aku pilih untuk layani rasa dan fikiran ini. Aku mahu ini adalah utk kali terakhir. Selepas ini akan ku simpan nya di dalam peti besi. Tidak layak di ucap, di dengar, diketahui....hanya layak bertahta  di hati...biarkan, ia bisu di situ....