One year and counting...

this is what i have to deal with... T_T

awww....isn't he sweet <3

People Talk..BD!

Assalammuaalaikum

Last few weeks, I heard somebody was talking bad about me behind my back. I mean I know, what do you expect kan...people have mouth they talk, they don't really care if they got their facts wrong. But that very person, I duno, I just don't ecpect that she would be in any part of this. So I just feel like I am somewhat back-stabbed. Feeling that, I just easily group up all of this girl and her close friends together and just decided that I cant trust n I dun want to be close to them. Then I go the next few days hating and feeling angry at them, saying some stuff I myself regret, cz for all I know...I have never had any problem with this people, I've never hated them, they are not my close friend but I was seriously okay with them. They are just neutral people to me an acquaintance. I neither hate or love. When I go around hating them after knowing that, I just felt very childish. I mean why??? Why should I act like this....this isnt High School. Okay, so I know these people aren't to be trusted. So just move on right. Its not as if I have done anythg to them to deserve this kinda treatment, let Allah swt punish them. Who am I to say what they did is wrong or right. For all I know, maybe I am just as disgusting as them or maybe worst.

What's important is what I am in Allah swt eyes. Does not matter if they wanna talk, let them talk. I have to improve myself. Keep on ameliorating myself so that they will one day see the truth, what matters is between me and Allah swt. What for am I saving this hatred, it is only gonna stained my heart. I don't need that. I forgive them for what they've done. I'm not a perfect person, I've made mistakes, but Allah swt is always guiding me and He has gave me a great gift, that is my life and all the people that I love in it as perfectly imperfect as it is. And I am happy. Content as I've never imagine before. Alhamdullilah for your generosity Ya Allah. You are truly kind. I will continue cherishing this life, be happy and free from all this hatred. This is not how I wana live my days. As long as I know who I can trust, and who truly care, it is more than enough for me. Enough for me to live happily. Thank you Allah for your blessings.

~*spread love*~

Let go of your grudges. Let the bitterness die tonight. Make a decision today that it's time to move on. And begin again. New, this time. Never forget that what has passed you by was never meant to befall you. And what has befallen you, was never meant to pass you by. Know that some times Allah withholds from you, in order to give you something better. Keep your heart focused on Him, and He will take care of the rest. And remember : you will stumble, but that's part of the path. Keep going. Keep rising, and refuse to give up. ~ Yasmin Mogahed

Wallahualam

Preservation

Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time.... ~ Anonymous

Preservation of things we love. We don't have any control of that. For instance, the other day i was quite sad cz my pearl bracelet was broken, then not long after that some animal pee on my favorite working shoe, then i lose grasp of one of my chunky ring and it hit the floor hard and now its broken. Okay, my examples are shallow, but think about it. You cant preserve anything in your life even if you put it on a pedestal, your parents, your siblings, your partner, or your friends. Nothing can be preserved. One day we all are gonna come back to Him. When people say, not worth risking your life over nothing. What does that mean?

Whatever it is, no matter how hard we try to preserve things, in the end if Allah swt says it happen, it will happen. It doesnt matter we like it or not, or are we ready for it or not. All we have now is time, try to appreciate things while it is still here. Our life for instance, if we throw it away doing sins, saying things like we are still young, save repentance for our old days...what if we die tomorrow, what if we have no strength to repent when we are old? Astagfirullah...forgive me Allah swt for I am so jahil, I am sinful. Doink is very worried whenever I am driving, he always say how he don't want anythg to happen to me, so whenever I'm on the road or in the hospital looking at the MVA victims, I become very scared of driving. But, to think about it rationally..  tawakkal....means we believe in Allah swt, we tried, but we leave it to Him. That is about all that we can do, try our best, which of course in my case I still need a little bit more practice, maybe more before I can really competently drive. But, even that, don't ensure that I will be safe, I still have to pray to Him for protection cause we can never preserve. Its all in Allah swt hands.

I saw a quote in FB the other day it says (sorry it is in Malay) "Apabila gugurnya seorang ibu, maka hilang lah satu kenikmatan di dalam hidup seorang anak, iaitu doa seorang ibu. Jadi jagalah ibu mu sebelum hilangnya kenikmatan untuk beroleh doa ibu" which means when somebody lost his/her mum, he/her will lose one luxury which is the luxury of having his/her mum prayer, so me must take care of our mum before it is too late for us to have the luxury of being in her prayer. In Islam, Mum's prayer are great...after all Jannah is below our mothers feet. That is how high Islam placed their woman, their mum. Since the Parent's day are here, just feel like saying this cause...all of us sometimes do neglect our parents, including me sadly, in our busy days, we able to call our significant other but to call our parents everyday are quite rare. So this is just a reminder, we can't preserve our parents, they are the only parents we have and no body can ever replace them. As a daughter, in Islam...we are the gate opener for Jannah to our father. What we do, it will contributed to his deeds, so does our wrong doings. I ponder for a while the other day, have I done enough to grant my father a Jannah? Have I? or will I be the one to pull him to Hell? Astagfirullah....I'll feel guilty if that is the case, I love my parents too much to picture pulling them to Hell for the sins that I have done. They don't deserve it. They have given me too much. 

Many of us don't realized this, including me. Sad isn't it? We are lost. I want to be a better Muslim for my parents. I don't want to see them suffer. I have to do this for myself, for Allah swt who have given me so much, who have love me so much. And we can't wait, cause time don't wait and we can't preserve things which leads me to the rest of the quote..

......And the best time to love is now..

p/s Lately ni mmg sentimental skit, esp cz thinking that I'm goin to Penang (insyaAllah) living far away from them (furthest I've been) and I havent been spending much time with them. And InsyaAllah if I get married, it will be more impossible to just live with them again. I'm just not ready to let go of that yet, I'm not ready to let go of my parents. I still want to be their little girl.

Sorry if this don't make sense, sometimes I just write to reflect back on myself. This is just what I think so maybe other people don't agree with what I 've said. PEACE :)