Ok yeah, I've change everything... Just dont feel like myself lately. Like everything that I really feel, I just have to keep it inside. Cause I can't say it out loud as people will take it the wrong way. I just don't want by blog post to be hurtful to people, same applies to my facebook posts/status, twitter etc etc etc. But, sometimes without you realize in order to spare other people's feeling, you are the one end up getting hurt and lose yourself in the process. That's what has happen to me, fear of writing just because I don't want people to misinterpret me. Little did I realize that this is my blog, it is my right and people should respect it.
I just really need sometime to clear my head up. I need to go find myself. Find what really matter to me, cause nothing is...or seem like worth to matter. Time, yes...time is all I need, if only I was that lucky
29 January 2012
25 January 2012
09 January 2012
Sweetie
Seriously feel so hurt tonight, if i am being childish. Fine, i try not to. But why do you always assume me as if u know me so well. Say things that is hurting my feeling even more. Dejavu dejavu dejavu... My heart cant take this. Erase !
01 January 2012
Year 2012 : START NOW
Salam....
So, New Year update....To tell you the truth I can't remember what I did on New Year Eve's or New Year last year.. But on the last night of 2011, I was working on my night shift in Peadiatric Ward 6C. As the clock nearing 12am I was actually trying to catch a nap...but my mind is deep in memories of all the things that I have done in 2011 that I don't even remember when actually that I fall asleep....As I woke up, there was already fireworks in the background...Yes, true enough 2012 is here, clock shows 0005 H...I did not managed to watch the fireworks this year..it had died off the moment I reached the window...Anyway, that is not what concerned me...What was running thru my mind was "What kind of a person that I've become in 2011? Have I become better or have I actually managed to become worst". That question I think lies between me and Allah swt.
Pondering at 2011, definitely I have gone thru a lot....but, my support system are always there for me. Feel truly blessed. I found love this year. Being in a relationship and start being in a long distance not long after that. Definitely have thought me to be more patient, understanding and learnt to live alone without anyone to count on 24/7. I learn to make friends and accept the people that i used to not like. I learnt to forget the past and try my best to make the best of present. I've lost my grandfather. Being stepped by the people I trust. Truly, one thing I definitely has achieved this year is the will to let go and have faith in whatever Allah swt has planned for me. Alhamdullillah, I am still here. I am still blessed with health, happiness and love. I have everythg that I ever wanted. My life, as imperfect as it is.... is truly perfect. Alhamdullilah....hopefully, Allah swt will still gv me his blessings, and give me courage to overcome whatever that might happen in the future. I definitely have to try harder to be a better Muslim in the future.
Pondering at 2011, definitely I have gone thru a lot....but, my support system are always there for me. Feel truly blessed. I found love this year. Being in a relationship and start being in a long distance not long after that. Definitely have thought me to be more patient, understanding and learnt to live alone without anyone to count on 24/7. I learn to make friends and accept the people that i used to not like. I learnt to forget the past and try my best to make the best of present. I've lost my grandfather. Being stepped by the people I trust. Truly, one thing I definitely has achieved this year is the will to let go and have faith in whatever Allah swt has planned for me. Alhamdullillah, I am still here. I am still blessed with health, happiness and love. I have everythg that I ever wanted. My life, as imperfect as it is.... is truly perfect. Alhamdullilah....hopefully, Allah swt will still gv me his blessings, and give me courage to overcome whatever that might happen in the future. I definitely have to try harder to be a better Muslim in the future.
Looking back at my 2011 Resolutions :
- I want to be a better servant to Allah swt
- To be a better daughter, sister, friend, doctor and person
- To find myself that special someone....if Allah wills it... I think the time is right already ;)
- To be able to fly thru all of my posting smoothly
- To take better care of my health and savings
Truthfully, I can't say I've achieve most of the things 100%, because certain things have to be a continuous process...like I would carry forward No.1, No.2 and No.4 in 2012. As I already found that special someone..Alhamdullilah....I would now hope that our jodoh di percepatkan. Benda baik tak baik ditangguh2 kan?... lagi pun if we continue like this akan bertambah dosa je. Hmmm *Muhasabah diri*. I also hope that I will be less shopaholic this year cz now I will start paying for my car. Yerp, finally getting myself a car after oh-so-long.....huhu ^^
I also have to really take care of my health, eat healthily and exercise more. I also definitely have to cut down on luxury and save moreee moolahh. TEEHEE!!
WELCOME 2012
Expecting nothing less from this year, hope it will be a much greater year than a year before. Whatever experience it have install for me, hopefully will make me a better person to Allah swt and the people around me.
Happy 2012 people!!!
~take care~
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