That 'WORD'

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This week, another one of my friend will get engaged. All around me people are making plans for the future, choosing a hospital to be posted together as a house officer, getting engaged, get married, have babies....looking at them, i can't help to feel sad. I am happy for them of cz, because they know where they are heading, what they want for the future and at least they have a bit of a picture about how they want their future to be like. Okay, at this point probably you will think that I am sad because I still don't have anybody to call my own and that I feel lonely. Well, I can't blame you for thinking that way as anyone in my shoe would probably think that. But, sadly.... in my case it is not that. If it is, then I guess life would be too simple...and SIMPLE LIFE has never go parallel with me.

The reason why I feel sad was because all these people are reminding me about that word that I wanted to say to you before I go to sleep. That word that I hold myself from typing every time I send you a message. That word that I wish I could tell you out loud every second of every single day of my life. That word that I feel every time I looked at you, every time I think about you and ridiculously even when I am MAD at you. That word that even though unspoken, feel more real to me with every single breath that I take. That word that I just can't keep it to myself any longer because it is hurting my heart till I can feel it swell and aching every time I think of you. That is why I am sad...not because of fear of being alone but because living this life without telling you this word, I feel like I am throwing away my time without meaning.

That word is the only word that I want you to say to me...If I am ever so lucky...well, a girl can only dream...

RiOt...ALeRt!!!

 

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TAK NAK PACK BARANG!!!!!

GOSH! i think i can actually hear my heart throwing tantrums right now. my brain is in riot and my hands are folding the clothes with such force that it aches! no i am not being a drama queen. Its aches ok, aches!! My face is cringing in frustrations...why must I put myself into such torture??? why??? I hate school...hate it!!! Now, u all must be wondering why oh why must i go and sign up for an impending DOOMED...that is none other than MEDICAL SCHOOL. Seriously, i dunno. I think I've been kidnapped by an alien n my brain has been washed to love medicine n now that i am sober, I am just stuck!!!!

WHAT EVER IT IS

I NAK CUTI LAMA-LAMA BOLEH TAK??? T_T

Hidup macam Rollercoaster?

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Kadang2 tu rase macam senangnya hati ni berubah2, macam ROLLERCOASTER flopping UP and DOWN ikut sesuka hati je. Sebenarnya, dalam kecelaruan hati ni...rasenya I tahu je what is the PROBLEM with me. But, I memang tak boleh nak get to the bottom of it. Plus, i pun tak nak too persistant sangat cakap pasal benda ni because I pun tahu benda ni sangat2 lah TAK PENTING sekarang. Nak cakap, everything memang sangat2lah okay je buat mase sekarang ni. Tak ade apa2 pun yang nak mengusarkan hati. Tapi, kadangkala tu memang tak boleh tahanlah. I tak boleh nak sabar. I just nak tahu. Seriously, what is WRONG with me? Banyak kali juga dah ingatkan diri ni, tapi sometimes I just can't lie to myself anymore. I just gotta be HONEST. But I know it is  probably NOT THE RIGHT TIME or maybe I am taking it all the WRONG way. But I dunno WHICH ONE is the RIGHT way. My petunjuk arah is DEFYING me. T_T

saya nak, tapi saya tak nak jika kamu tak nak, jadi kamu nak tak?

Randomly

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In that silence, i heard a voice said  STOP  in a big bold capital letters.

...your effort is tiring me...

Pearls of Thought

Fikiran 1

Rindu...

mengapa perlu hadir?

aku tidak suka hadirmu di sisi

kerna kau membuat ku rasa kosong di dalam diri

lebih lagi pabila tiada kehadiran pengubat sepi

seperti satu perlakuan yang sia-sia ku rasai

Rindu...

pergila kau dari sisi ku
kerana aku tidak perlu kehadiranmu

kau tiada belaian kasih buat ku

tiada ingat ku dalam peringatan mu

aku tidak perlu belas kasih mu

Fikiran 2

Ku tenung skrin komputer ribaku
Di tepi nya tercatit MEMO : Things to do this holiday
Dibawahnya tercatit lagi

- Seminar Lymphoma

- Seminar Renal Failure

- 2nd Case Write-up

- Short notes : Ovarian Tumor

- Study O&G

- Study Peads and Neonatal

Aku mengeluh...hari ini sudah hari ketiga Syawal. Satu kerja pun belum ku usahakan lagi. Entah bila akan ku sentuh komputer riba ku ini untuk kerja-kerja berfaedah. Malas? bukan malas, Penat? sudah ku rehatkan mata ku sebelum kegelinciran matahari tadi. Cuma, aku memang tidak punya rasa mahu memulakannya. Mungkin malam kelak akan ku paksakan diriku. 

Fikiran 3

Hari ini ku baca sebuah blog baru. Ia membuat ku rasa seperti aku masih belum matang dalam pertuturan ku, pemikiran ku, adakah benar aku bakal menjejakkan kaki di dalam tahun ke-23 hidup ku. Aku memang belum matang, pengetahuan ku masih terlampau cetek untuk bergelar young adult. Banyak yang perlu aku improve untuk jadi yang lebih baik. Mungkin aku perlu mulakan dengan cuba berdikari...jauh dari wajah2 seharianku.

Fikiran 4

Aku ingin mencuba sesuatu, tetapi aku rasa orang disekeliling ku tidak akan bersetuju. Tapi perkara itu sangat menarik hati. Sangat kurang komplikasi. Sangat mudah untuk aku fahami. Adakah aku akan rasa senang hati memilih hidup yang tiada erti risiko setelah sekian lama aku menanti, lewati dan pelajari?

Fikiran 5

Kamu fikir aku masih resah? Aku sudah mempunyai hala tuju yang baru. Aku fahami erti hidupku. Aku tidak resah tentang perihal itu. Aku perlu berjuang demi agamaku, bangsaku dan keluargaku. Hal itu jika ia terjadi, maka sudah suratan takdirku.

~sekian sahaja butir-butir fikiranku~

Untuk Bonda dan Ayahanda

Di kala Syawal, sudah menjadi lumrah kita semua untuk bermaaf-maafan. After solat Aidilfitri, slalunye keluarga I akan berkumpul kat ruang tamu depan tu lepas tu sorang-sorang akan minta maaf. Kali ini, ummi dan ayah dua2 cakap benda yang sama pada I 'Jangan lupakan Ummi dan Ayah, kami cuma harap kami akan sentiasa berada dalam ingatan kakak'. Dengar macam simple kan??? Cuba tengok video ni, dan fikir lagi skali....

So, macam mane? senang tak??? Nauzubillah...harap2 I won't be like that walaupun dah berjaya nanti. Adakalanya tu, memang risau because doctors are busy people. Maybe right now it is still ok, as I don't have any other responsibility...I dun have family sendiri, I'm still studying. But in the future who knows, right? Tula bila ayah tanya 'Nanti Kakak nak buat housemenship dekat mana?' I still teragak2 nak jawab, I tahu diorang kalau boleh nak I kerja dekat Sungai Petani so that dekat dengan adik. Tapi, I kalau boleh nak dekat dengan Ummi dengan Ayah selagi masa masih ada. Selagi I masih tak ada tanggungjawab lain.

Sometimes tu rasa macam tak nak kahwin, nak duduk bawah lindungan payung Ummi dan Ayah je. Boleh tak??? hehe hmm ...mmg la tak boleh, apa2 pun hidup ni kan macam satu kitaran. I pun kene hadapi apa yang my parents dah hadapi...InsyaAllah satu hari nanti. Harap2 bila sampai waktunya nanti, I masih boleh memikul tanggungjawab sebagai seorang anak dengan baik buat kamu berdua...amin. InsyaAllah...terima kasih...kerana kamu berdualah saya masih tegak berdiri di sini. Sayang kamu berdua sangat-sangat <3 .="" br="">

~Kakak nak Ummi dan Ayah sentiasa berada didalam ingatan Kakak juga~

Hello Syawal, Goodbye Ramadhan T_T

Salam Eid Mubarak Dear Readers,

...Alhamdullilah...

Congrats!!! We have all succeed in completing a month of Ramadhan, eventhough this year...the Ramadhan is shorter by 1 day. I feel happy, as this Ramadhan has thought me a lot and help me see this life in a new perspective. And I hope, I'll keep on learning so that one day I'll become a better Muslimah...InsyaAllah.

Since Syawal is here... I, first of all would like to ask ugys forgiveness for my wrong doings, my harsh words, my attitude that probably made u guys hate me...i am sorry if i ever hurt ugys in any way. I probably did not noticed it and I really don't mean to. I am also sorry if I made any of you feel neglected while I am busy being caught up in my life. Hopefully all of us will have a great Syawal. This is the last EVER Raya that I'm gonna get duit raya, tahun depan i pulak yg kene bagi duit raya...sedeynye... so I nak kumpul duit raya puas2 tahun ni, perangai still mcm budak2 kan? May Allah swt bless all of us always in everythg that we do...Amin...

my family picture

 Ayahanda dan Bondaku

 us three, always the power of three =)

HAVE A GREAT AIDILFITRI

salam

Quoted By

Don’t let someone become priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life.

- Labyrinth of Mine

rAya fEveR? ILI? WeEkEnDs feVER...

barang keperluan ketika demam

Orang kata, apabila sakit tu maknanya Allah sedang menguji dan menegur kita. Sakit itu juga salah satu penghapus dosa. Jadi janganlah kita mengeluh atau merungut, tetapi hadapi la ia dengan tabah...Alhamdullilah Allah masih ingat dan sayang pada kita...Wallahualam...

Dear Magic Flute

Funny now that the only thing that I feel like doing is only T_T

do I NEED this?

Why must you care about somebody who only thinks of themselves, what they want and what they hate. They don't even have the decency to even talk to you nicely or even take a moment to think about what you want or what you hate for that matter. Why must you talk to somebody who is just so full of themselves that it seems like there are no space for you in there. Why???

Is it enough just because you care and you are willing to accept them for what they are? But, till when is it gonna be just about them?

Quoted By

Ramadhan penghapus dosa di antara dua Ramadhan. Daripada Abi Hurairah r.a. bahawa sesungguhnya Nabi s.a.w. bersabda :

Solat yang lima, dan Juma'at ke Juma'at berikutnya, dan Ramadhan ke Ramadhan berikutnya adalah penghapus dosa-dosa diantaranya, jika dosa-dosa besar dijauhi.

( H.R. Muslim )

MeSsy mE...

My mind keeps on wondering these days. I can't be like this. I need to stay focus and get back on track. Exam in 5 weeks babe!!!!

Quoted By

Find a shoe that DEFINES you, who knew where you may go and who you'll meet while wearing it (^^)v

ObsESsioN

This is my current obsession....

Who's the heck is this guy...u may ask..

ask no further...his name is Drew Seeley

and I have a crush on him ever since i saw him dancing in Another Cinderella Story with Selena Gomez. (Yes, Mimi another Disney movie) But, this guy is older (haha!=p). His date of birth is 30th April 1982. He is a Canadian actor, singer, dancer and songwriter. And he is has that triple H factor!!!! (Syafiqah, ingat ini adalah bulan Ramadan..haih -.-") *compose myself* ehem...ehem...anyway, this guy is talented. He co-wrote Get'cha head in the Game for HSM3 with Ryan and Greg Cham and sing it too. He sang for Zac Efron in HSM while he was on tour for Hairspray and he will also plays Prince Eric for Disney Broadway Musical 'The Little Mermaid'. He dance very well too. Dun believe me?

Watch this

Anyway, i love this song...

Official website:
Drew Seeley

Independence Day

31st August 2009
Malaysia celebrated the 52nd Independence day.

The ceremony was small this year as it is Ramadhan so they decided to keep it simple. Great achievement right to be able to stay as a multicultural country peacefully for 52 years already.

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Ye, memang satu pencapaian yang besar. Tapi pada dasarnya benarkah kita benar-benar aman, benar-benar merdeka? Benarkah kita susah tidak di jajah? Cuba kita lihat cara hidup generasi muda zaman ini, tidakkah mereka seolah-olah masih dijajah kuasa barat dari segi budaya nya? Bangga nya kita mengatakan kita hidup bersatu-padu walaupun hidup berbilang kaum. Benarkah kita bersatu padu? Benarkah kita sudah mencapai satu tahap yang setiap kaum saling memahami tentang perbezaan antara kita? Benarkah sudah tidak ada racisim antara rakyat Malaysia? Adakah anda tahu yang masih ada dikalangan kita yang masih bangga untuk mengaku bahawa mereka tidak tahu berbahasa Melayu sedangkan mereka itu warganegara Malaysia tetapi malu untuk mengaku mereka tidak fasih berbahasa Inggeris. Bukankah Bahasa Melayu itu bahasa rasmi negara kita? Mengapa pula pendatang asing lebih fasih berbahasa Melayu berbanding warganegara Malaysia sendiri. Mungkin kita sudah tidak dijajah dari segi fizikalnya. Mungkin kita sudah bebas dan semakin 'open-minded'. Tapi benarkah kita ini benar-benar bebas, benar-benar bersatu, benar-benar bangga menjadi rakyat Malaysia? Benarkah kita cintakan negara kita?

Persoalan demi persoalan. Kita sahaja yang tahu jawapannya...
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Anyhoot...here are a little pics of me n my girls on Merdeka Day!!! Merdeka!!!!!!!

Our ride : kereta merah u..u..u..

Diva 1 : Shoe'bha yg kepenatan after cultural show the nite before


Diva 2, 3 and 4 : Mirae, Mimione and Me =)

Major activity : shopping!!!

clothes

shoes

and not forgetting.....

FOOD!!!



and it makes me one happy person...

=)

...and the last most important thing is making this mak cik here smile...
take care Mimione
i'm gonna MISS YOU
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR 4TH YEAR
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF...ALWAYS
anythg...I'm always here for you

XOXOX

Imagine That...

Last Saturday, I catch this movie with my bestie. Seriously dunno what else to do especially on this bulan Ramadhan. My first impression about the movie...

fie.hazim
best ke cerita nie?
*shrugs*
you slalu pilih cerita yang tak best -.-

Well, turns out the movie was sooooooo niceeeeee!!! It is hilarious, schweet and full of family values. So to those who is having headache and need a little time out from all the work and stress and the drama of the earth, go watch this movie. Go have a good laugh!!! Hv a nice day ugys...(^^)v

p/s KZ kate bulan Ramadhan nie tak baik buat benda melalaikan...hehe KZ dah tak tahu ape nak buat la...takkan nak jalan2 je ;p