Yippie!!!!!

haha...poyo jer gambar niekan...nie kat Taman Botani with Masy, Jana n Min mase we buat research on Breast Cancer...good times....now our time together are running short. So sad T_T 

Okay...I am one happy happy girl....because why.....I managed to get my self a bicycle to play!!! Yippie ya  yay!!!! I noe...I am not a sports person other than doing pillates or aerobic...I dun even noe how to swim (so help me God, if i ever drown myself let it be near to a place where I can get help...Nauzubillah) but I really enjoy cycling! What a refreshing feeling I have today. Gosh! I should do this more often. (^_^)v. I dunno la lately nie...the thought of going to a mall or cinema or shopping are still exciting but are just not as exciting as going to a place where I can get fresh O2...I noe, I noe...there are no such thing like a fresh O2...but you know fresh air where the air is doesn't feel so dusty...where you can look over something green, clear and sparkly...the blue2 sky...I guess...I am into that kinda thing now...does that make me old? hmmm....well if it is who cares...I like it!!! Tho I kinda wish that I could spend the weekends with Mira, Far and Subha cycling at Taman Botani...I guess this works too...at least  I can take my mind off things and stop confusing my mind so much. Cause certain things...well, it is better just to look pass it I guess...Anyways, I am hoping for the best this week!!!! Gotta work it to achieved it, right??? 

IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME

SO, I GOTTA FIGHTING! FIGHTING!!!!!

05/10....here I COME!!!!!!

p/s May Allah bless me with courage and peace of mind so that I can study in peace...Amin...

8 minutes for 48 hours??? haha you gotta be joking...time is running up!

REALITY is FACT

nothing you can do to change it, now LIVE with it..

Quoted By

Bila cinta berkurang, harapan dalam diri juga berkurang.

Jika kita tahu ada orang yang sayangkan kita,

ambil berat pasal diri kita,

tentu kita akan menghadapi hari esok

dengan penuh semangat...

Aspirasi Seni by Fakhrul Anour

p/s : yes, i need LOTS of LOVE and I am not ashamed to admit it...

In a Relationship

This is my boyfie...his manja2 name is Baby....LOVE him so so much!!!!! Just look at his adorable handsome face. I could just look at that face all day and feel that everything is gonna be alright. And the best thing was, he knows wen i needed comfort and tender touch...ehehe...cats are always sooOO adorable. Baby...saya rindu sama kamu!!!! tak sabar nak jmpa kamu lagi....LOVEeeeee <3

p/s : pic taken from Kak Lynn fb profile...

THAT'S IT! I DON'T NEED ANYMORE SIGNS

GONNA HIT THE BOOK REAL HARD

BABAI WORLD!

words LOST in time

HYE !

HOW ARE YOU?

HOW'S YOUR STUDY?

ARE YOU DOIN WELL?

ARE YOU OKAY?

I CARE ABOUT YOU...YOU TAKE CARE K...

I MISS YOU...REALLY I DO...

...funny...

(-__-)

If only we can demolish secrets, start telling the truth and try these 3 simple art of talking, listening and discussing....then maybe we'll be okay...ahaha who am I kidding???

I HATE WRITE UP. PERIOD!

Outta my Head

At this point of life.....I really want to just pixie cut my hair short and colour it RED like Hayley Williams. Then, I want to try wearing a heel about 5" high....not wedges but REAL tiny heels. Then, I wana go up on that Mt. Kinabalu with my bestfriends. Then, I wana go on a back packing trip somewhere....i don't care where.... just go somewhere and stay missing for awhile.

But, I can't do all that now....first, I don't have enough moolah yet. Second, I have my big exam in 1 month time. Arghhhhhhh!!!!! I wish I could do more of a adrenaline rushing stuff other than just screaming in side my room. Maybe I should do pilattes this evening...yeah maybe I should....

2 wOrLd

Outsiders are the people who watch other people's lives from the outside. They can sorta guess the emotion, the situation, hear those people talking, see them move, see the reaction on their faces. But, the reality are, outsiders don't know anything. They are only the viewers. They don't have the ability to talk, to give an opinion or to express their emotion. They just sit and watch. Whatever the outsiders feel, thought of or said are not known to the people inside. There are 2 separate world inside and outside. Now, in your life you are inside. You decide on who's in and who's out. In someone else's life, you are the outsider until that person grant you a permission to be inside....otherwise, you will remain as the unknown...

why

I just don't understand you know....
Thinking about it for days...still I haven't figured it out...
Why you do what you do...
Why you say those things...
Why things turn out this way...

I guess you are just not me...

I need endless supply of this please...

Please....I am begging you

Note to self :
1.  Please be a rigid wall. Please be strong. Please stay with this decision
2.  Please don't turn back.
3.  Please don't be blinded. What's done is done.
4.  Love your self....
5.  Love yourself endlessly...
6.  Love yourself wholeheartedly...
7.  Please stay focus....focus for your studies
8.  Get that disturbing thoughts outta your mind
9.  Just stop thinking. Just STOP
10.Have faith in ALLAH....

maybe certain things was meant to be broken so that we can get a new one that is better...

once UPON a DREAM...

my love...my love...my love.....i'll give you all my love...

if you...if you...if you....don't change a thing...

...i want a man like you FOREVER in my life...

very SAD individual

the ones who took for granted of the things they have...

...the ones who try to get back the things that they took for granted.

at the end of the day, all of us are losers...

Looking for a place to land

there was a man in his car trying to talk to me
he drove a pontiac, red, 1963
he shouted numbers and neighborhood streets
I said, I wouldn't know.I wouldn't know.
and then I said to myself, what's he lookin' for
an illegitimate son with an open door
or else the calling from God he could not ignore

I guess in my own way
just like him I'm wandering, wandering, runaway
but aren't we all just...

looking for a place to land
looking for a friend to call
looking for a destination, conversation, fascination
to protect us from the fall
looking for the one to love
looking for a brand new day
looking for a reason to stand
looking for a place to land

there was a girl on a train out of Santa Fe
found her husband in bed with her sister "hey"
left her soul and her kids when she ran away
where do you go?where do you go?

sometimes the love that you lose is the love you find
sometimes the pain is the doorway to peace of mind
no matter how hard you try you just can't rewind
now that you know ....where do you go?

I guess in my own way
just like her I'm a wandering, wandering runaway
but aren't we all just.....

looking for a place to land
looking for a friend to call
looking for a destination, conversation, fascination
to protect us from the fall
looking for the one to love
looking for a brand new day
looking for a reason to stand
looking for a place to land  

I guess in my own way
just like them I'm a wandering, wondering runaway
but aren't we all just....

looking for a place to land
looking for a friend to call
looking for a destination, conversation, fascination
to protect us from the fall
looking for the one to love
looking for a brand new day
looking for a reason to stand
I'm looking for a place to land...

by Moon Dakota


p/s : love this song...well reflection of how i really feel right now. May Allah make me see my way soon...InsyaAllah...


p/p/s : gonna choose for hospital soon!!! uwaa...T_T

what's real? what's right? what to believe?  

this time...believe in yourself

ur heart

Dear Heart

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you...really really do...

Change..yeah we change NBD!

the only constant thing in life is change, you, me, them...we all change. i hate changes...well, not all of them...some of them. cause no matter what we all have to change, different life, different friends, different views, different interest....we evolved. changes is not necessarily bad. but when close friends started to feel like strangers, when you started to feel like intruders in your own comfort zone, when awkwardness is filling every corner of the room that used to be so warm and welcome...that is bad...just so so bad...

...and for that reason, i am feeling very SAD...

p/s : i dunno if you are still following my blog, but i have a good reason to think that you don't. but if you do, i just wanted to say that i am really sorry if i have done anythg at all that have contributed to ruining us...

sAtUrDay RaMBLes

Actually...I sangat takde mood yesterday. Ntahla...just stressed out kot. I don't know how to tell my sister that I won't be coming home for the holiday. Time is running up, and I am still not at my full speed yet. I am seriously WORRIED. Haritu the Dean was talking about there's only one PRO examination that matters...whether you  pass or you fail. I tak tahu la...I am really scared I think. These 2 days, I just can't take it anymore that I just sleep. Thank goodness ade study group, if not langsung takde input. I have to be stronger... I KNOW...but now I am really wishing for another body, or that I can make a concoction out of a book and drink the essence and miraculously have all the facts saturated in my brain.  Haha...yeah I can only dream...

And then...lagi bertambah bosan bila Parkinson case yang I and Farah dah planned to examine tu balik, haihh rosak plan...Then, bile pergi kat Case Eisenmanger tu pulak, tak dapat examine betul2 cause ramai sgt org...huhu sedihh betul! Not to mention lah kan our class with Dato' dah ke-tiga kali tunda. Dah prepare for ward round 3 days in a row tau...uwaaa!!! Dahla all my patient stock yg tak boleh cakap punye!! Huhu...nanti dah jadi HO mcm Hazim lagi lah every day kene prepare ward round, cover 20-30 patient per day...uhh DASYAT btol!!! Nie baru 4 patient dah rase tersangat la burden...hmm maybe if preparation yg membuahkan hasil takla tension sgt kot. I dunno how Hazim and other doctors did it...Haihh...So, after a very uneventful morning, I went out wif Emilia and Farah makan McD. I noe I should not support JEWS...but, its really been a while and kesian kot kat pekerja2 McD yg Muslim tu...diorang pun nak cari mkn...if semua McD tutup kan kesian kat diorang...hikhik alasan! Okay I pun happy la dapat mkn Big N' Tasty after so long...yum yum (>_<). Then, I spend an evening karaoke'ing in the room with Jana to Lady Gaga and Ke$ha, I sort of recover a bit...ngeh3x....rah rah ah ah ah..we should really do that again next time. It was so much fun!.

I also found out that next week, we are gonna have that talk my Malaysia Medical Council (MMC) for housemanship placement!!! I duno here to go!!!! Uwaaa....if only things are a little bit easier. Anyway, I better go and study smthing now...pukul satu nanti nak pergi senior I punye wedding. Excited sangat nak tengok wedding, ntahla for some reason I love wedding, cause everything look nice there...even the guys always look like a descent guy to marry...heh, umm u know what I mean. Kla, hit chat more later...Cya!!

p/s I love library and BOOKS!!! ahaha NERD...

hYPOcRiTe

Amazed at people who can be true to their feeling and are able to continue their life without being such a hypocrite. 'Hypocrite' yes a word that I really really hate. It means a person who pretend. I don't like pretending, i despise it A LOT! But, one thing I don't understand is that why do I keep on pretending??? I seriously hate this kinda feeling!

Why must I say to people that I think a person is nice when I know that to me that person is a fake, not sincere and anything about that person make me think of garbage disposal area....yes smelly, full of maggots, and that person has never done anything nice to me accept for making me look bad. I don't even know why I must pretend to even try slightly to show some form of 'like' to that person when all I wanted to say is that 'You've ruined my life BITCH! I think you are like a parasite. Now, stay away from my LIFE!!!'. I don't know why for instance I have to pretend not knowing when I perfectly know what has been going on. I don't know why must I pretend that everything is the same, pretend that everything is okay when I know that everything is not. 

Maybe I am in the fatal state of denial. Maybe doing anything at all is tiring me. Maybe I am comfortable in this passive position. Secluded in a shell that no body can figure me out. Maybe I am more mature in dealing with life problem, that I know which one I want to prioritize, which one I wanna share with my close friends, and which one that I should just keep it to my self to ponder. Maybe sometimes no words are needed. Maybe sometimes all you need to do is just walk pass it like it don't even caught your sight. 

Maybe one day, it will all make sense. Maybe one day it won't matter. Maybe one day it will all be forgotten. At least, I am not lying to myself. I know how I really feel. After all, that is what really matter, right?

HAVE A NICE WEEKEND GUYS!!!!!

MoRninG WitH tHe DeAn

I am preparing for THE MOST DIFFICULT and THE MOST UNFAIR examination ON EARTH!!!


other things....can go out the door now...

thanks!